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Relationships

How to Stop Stressing About Being Single for the Holidays

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I often hear from my clients about how the idea of being single for the holidays stresses them out. And, you know what? They’re not alone. There’s a period of time that stretches from Thanksgiving to Valentine’s Day where single people feel more pressure than ever to pair up and find their match. Often times, you’ll see different magazines and blogs writing about how easy or wonderful it is to find love over the holidays. Talk about pressure! So, you know what, friend? I say “no way.” This year, instead of stressing about being single or seeing every holiday party as hunting grounds for your next date, let’s kick pressure to the curb. As if the holidays aren’t already busy and frenzied enough. This, my friend, is your guide to stopping the stress and truly enjoying the holiday season as your single self.

Realize You Have Total Freedom

Being single over the holidays, and the rest of the year really, means that you have total freedom. You’ve only got one schedule to keep tabs on and that is yours. Feel like spending a Saturday catching up on sleep or scooting out of work a touch early to catch an early show? Go for it. Not into the idea of spending the entire holidays home with the family? Use up those rewards miles and take yourself on a beachy getaway. And, if, on the other hand, you can’t get enough of your family’s many holiday traditions, let the good times roll – you don’t need to be anywhere else.

Treat Yourself to Something Special

Instead of buying a gift for a partner, use this opportunity to treat yourself to something special. You’ve worked hard all year, are rocking the single life and deserve it. So, fire up your laptop or head on down to the mall and get that bag, coat, fragrance or gorgeous lingerie set you’ve been eyeing. Rewarding yourself for being you, and for tackling the season solo, is a fantastic feeling. Heck, you really don’t need to wait for the holidays to do it!

Know that you’re Not the Only One… Even if It Feels That Way

Even though you might feel like you’re the only single person in your family/group of friends/office, let me assure you that there are millions and millions of people all over the world that are single. You, my friend, are absolutely not alone! On that note, the holidays are actually a fantastic time of year to feel anything but alone. There’s always an event, dinner or just a bunch of family members sitting around and catching up. Instead of hanging back or playing the wallflower, join in on the fun and allow yourself to be a part of it all. When the "lonelies" come on, feel it for a moment, take a deep breath and then re-engage.

Allow Yourself to Say “Yes” and Experience the Magic of the Holidays

With a bit more free time and a whole lot more events, the holidays are an amazing time to get out there and experience something new. Are a group of coworkers heading downtown for drinks? Go with them! Are your friends from college meeting up to visit your old haunting grounds? Say “yes.” Do you have the opportunity to patch things up with someone from your past, or make amends with someone you’ve recently got off on the wrong foot with? You’ve guessed it, go ahead and do it.

There’s something seriously magical about the holidays that just brings people together, fills the air with joy and makes everything better. Don’t let yourself miss out on the magic by feeling alone. You deserve more, so go get it!

View the New Year as Full of Opportunity

With the New Year comes a whole new start and a ton of opportunity. If finding love is on your to-do list, view the New Year as being full of chances for that to happen. And, once you’ve decided that’s so, leave it at that – at least ‘til January 1st. The holidays are about having fun, letting loose and reconnecting with those already in your lives. Sure, it’ll be great if you wind up meeting new people, but there’s no need to put unnecessary pressure on yourself to make it happen right now.

So, step outside, let the snowflakes fall where they may (if you’ve already gotten snow, that is) and know that you’ve got this. Here’s to a magic-filled holiday season, friend. 

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How Conflict Can Lead to Closeness - When You Do It Right

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I’m often asked by clients and friends, “Is it normal to argue in a relationship?” Often times, we hear of these “perfect” couples who “never” fight. I’m here, today, to tell you that every single relationship is different and unique. Arguments, in moderation and when healthily handled, are not only normal but are essential to fostering authenticity, true understanding and effective communication in relationships. Not only is this true for romantic relationships, but also within friendships, families and even the professional world.

Today’s post focuses on how to turn conflict into an opportunity within romantic relationships and partnerships, but you can absolutely take these steps and apply them to other areas of your life. I hope you’ll learn some valuable techniques that will allow you to view conflict in a totally different light and as an effective tool to creating ultimate closeness and collaboration in your relationship - when you do it right, of course.

Ready to learn how to “fight fair” and come out of an argument feeling even more in love? I know, it might be hard to believe, but it’s possible and you’re 100% capable. Keep on reading!

1. Embrace the Conflict and Maintain Intentionality

When you sense an argument beginning, or when you actively within a conflict, allow yourself to consider the moment as an opportunity for personal and partnership growth. Enter into it with the intention of coming away stronger and not coming away as the stronger partner. Conflict should not be about proving that you are a better partner or seeing who can shout the loudest or deliver the most digs. It’s about giving both partners the opportunity to be heard and to speak, no matter what the subject, in order to explore the possibility coming away as a closer and better balanced unit.

2. Be Realistic

I like this step, or technique, because it makes us take a step back and really check ourselves. What are we arguing about? What do we honestly hope to gain? If you’re feeling as though your partner isn’t spending enough time with you or you feel as though you haven’t been connecting, don’t begin an argument about the dirty dishes in the sink and allow it to snowball from there. Be realistic about what’s bothering you, why this conflict exists, and go from there. Also be realistic about your own role and responsibility in the conflict and embrace the reality that your partner may have his or her own points of tension to discuss.

3. Listen, Listen, Listen!

You likely know how awful the feeling of not being heard can be. Expressing yourself and feeling as though your words and feelings are not being recognized or acknowledged can be incredibly hurtful. So, when it comes time to engage in conflict, remember to listen. When you engage in the conversation in the capacity of an active listener, you are more likely to have your partner offer the same respect and opportunity for you, then, to be heard. Listen carefully, acknowledge your partner’s words, and then speak. Don’t interrupt, avoid playing the blame game and respect your partner during conflict the same as you’d respect them at the best of times. After all, the conflict will come to a close and your goal is to come away strengthened.

4. Know Your Words Have Meaning

When speaking, understand that every word has meaning. It can be easy to say things that we truly do not mean in the heat of the moment, and that’s why it’s more important than ever before to choose our words carefully and honestly in conflict. Say how you are truly feeling in simple and clear language. Communicate your issues and your requests in the same way. Try your best to avoid metaphors, hypotheticals and other devices that could be seen as argumentative or even cause confusion. When expressing how something makes you feel, say it just that way! Use “I” statements such as, “When that happens, I feel this way” and avoid generalising statements or accusations.

5. Keep Moving Forward

When a conflict comes to a close and you both walk away from the argument (ideally, together) you must agree to keep moving forward and to leave the past in the past. When you reach a resolution in a conflict, it’s so incredibly important to not continue to bring up the argument in the future. Comments like, “See? I told you!” or “This is what I mean, you always do this” are examples of communication to try and avoid. Choose something like - observe first, "I am not making your wrong but this is an example of what we spoke about on Saturday. It makes me feel dismissed. But again, I am not mad and you are not wrong, I just want to point out this example." - then make affectionate physical contact in some way. This will allow moments of conflict or tension to transform into opportunities for learning and growth and, ultimately, your relationship to strengthen and flourish.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Soulmates vs. Twin flames: The Differences You Need To Know

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Have you ever been in a relationship that seemed to get so serious, so deep and so real so fast, that it was almost as if reality couldn’t keep up? Maybe you were planning how you’d decorate your shared home a week into your relationship. Perhaps you were thinking of excuses to call into work sick or skip out on plans with friends, all so you could spend every waking (and sleeping) moment with your newfound partner. If you have ever experienced anything like this in a new relationship, Matt Kahn shares that it was, and is, most likely a twin flame situation. Now, if you’ve never heard of the term “twin flame” you’re not alone. It’s a widely discussed, and often debated, term in the realm of spirituality but hasn’t quite made its way to the mainstream. At least, not to the same extent as its “soulmate” counterpart. That’s why I thought that it would make for an interesting blog and newsletter topic this month. So, keep on reading to learn the differences between what makes a soulmate relationship, or soul contract, and what makes one a twin flame. If, at the end, you’d like to learn even more, I highly recommend watching this video by spiritual thought leader, Matt Kahn.

First, let’s continue to talk about what exactly makes a relationship a twin flame relationship. Then we’ll move into soulmates.

Twin flame relationships can usually be described as fast burning, fast tracked and almost chaotic in the way that the relationship quickly becomes all encompassing. Almost right off the bat, you find yourself getting really deep and really serious with your partner – even if you’ve only seen each other a few times. You make plans for the future, even though your friends and family can’t believe you’re already getting so serious. The thing is, you’re making those plans because your own soul knows that this relationship can help you evolve. This relationship is happening because your soul (and likely your partner’s) isn’t truly ready for your soulmate just yet.

While twin flame relationships can be fiercely fun, incredibly romantic and life altering, they’re not entirely realistic. In fact, they are usually filled with volatility, hostility and drama. That same intense energy that you feel in the good times fuels the bad times tenfold. It’s this intensity that often, understandably, leads people to mistake twin flames for soulmates. However, the intensity is too great to be sustainable and will often, almost inevitably, lead to destruction.  Something to note, however, is that twin flames can become soulmates and sometimes do. I will seriously stress that “sometimes”, though, as more often than not these types of relationships go the other way.

Soulmate relationships, on the near opposite end of the spectrum to twin flame; can be looked at as both partners becoming the living embodiments of their highest potential. This, then, allows them to manifest an equal counterpart. You are with each other because you are at a level that you are ready for each other. It’s way more relaxed, easier, more balanced and everything falls into place. Sure, you still have arguments and disagreements but there is a fundamental difference in how you grow together. You grow in balance to one another and arguments, for the most part, really just solve themselves. You don’t hold onto things to use against one another, you know that your love is more important and more valuable than building a stockpile of comebacks for your next debate. The friction that sometimes rears its head in a soulmate relationship works itself our naturally – resolution is never forced.

In describing both types of relationships, something that I truly want to stress is something that Matt also speaks to near the end of his video talk. When it comes to mental, verbal, emotional, physical or any other form of abuse in a relationship, there is no such thing as working on it or accepting it for what it is. In a soul contract where there is toxicity, you owe it to yourself to put yourself anywhere but there. He urges his listeners to not get caught up in the feeling of there only being “one” soulmate for them. There are many soulmates and twin flames awaiting you in the world, and you will never deserve toxicity.

I encourage you to take some time to look at past relationships (or even current ones!) that were particularly intense. It's more than likely, it was a twin flame relationship. Reflect on what the lesson was for you. What did you learn from that twin flame? I have come to believe twin flame relationships are honestly your training ground for soulmate relationships.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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How to Say "Yes" to Love, Even if You Haven't Met Anyone Yet

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One of the most common reasons people give as to why they stop dating or close themselves off from love is, “I just never seem to find anybody right for me.” Spending time and money on online dating, speed dating or even just the emotional spend of meeting people through friends or family can get old fast when you feel that it just “never works out.” If you feel this way, I want you to know that I completely understand where you’re coming from. It’s in our nature to avoid doing something if we know it didn't work out last time around. But, should we really be treating finding love the same way we treat finding the right hobby or sport? You guessed it, friend. The answer is a resounding, "No!"

Something I talk about quite often is that, in love and life, it’s so incredibly important to keep an open mind and open heart. Lately, I find that I can't say it enough! While it might sound corny, I truly do believe that things happen for a reason – and always in their own time. There are some things that we simply can’t force, rush or make happen simply by planning. Love, and I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this, is one of those things.

So, how are you supposed to stay open to the idea of love when things haven’t been going your way? Why should you say “yes” to love if you feel that you never meet anyone right for you? These are both incredibly valid questions. In fact, they're the reasons I’m writing this post today. I want to give you some real, actionable ways that you can begin opening yourself up to the possibility of love starting today. I think you’ll find that when you open your mind and heart, that’s when the real magic starts to happen. So, let's jump into it!

1. Leave the Story in the Past, but Take the Lesson with You

Everyone, at some point, has experienced a bad relationship. It may have been romantic. It could have been a friendship. Or, it could even have been with a coworker. When it comes down to it, something went wrong and things didn’t turn out. What I really, really want you to do is to leave that negative experience in the past and not carry it with you on your journey forward.

While failed relationships can offer great opportunities for learning, it’s important that you recognize the learning for what it is and only take that forward in your life – and that you leave the rest in the past. It’s natural to want to protect yourself and to put up walls or barriers, but when you start building more and more of these walls you eventually become entirely closed off. And that makes it even harder for fantastic, new people to make their way into your life.

2. Be Ready for Love by Loving Yourself

I’ve written before about the concept of “like attracting like.” If you’re self-critical and so focused on all the reasons why someone else wouldn’t like you, you’re not opening yourself up to meeting someone – and certainly not allowing for a relationship to truly flourish. It’s been said time and time again, but you honestly do have to learn to love yourself before you’ll truly be comfortable putting yourself out there and saying “yes” to love with another person.

I’d encourage you to browse through some of my older posts to read the different ways you can foster greater self-acceptance and self-love. I believe you’ll find that when you are your happiest, most authentic self is when you’ll attract the right people into your life.

3. Give Yourself a Break

Something I know can be tough to deal with is societal pressure – and this absolutely includes pressure from friends and family. This "pressure" that I speak of may come in the form of them asking about why you’re single. It may come in the form of a comment like, “If you want a family then you better settle down soon!” These types of comments aren’t always meant to be hurtful. In fact, the people saying them usually have no idea the negative energy the words can carry. These types of thoughts have been engrained into people’s heads by way of societal pressure and what society defines as “normal.” The thing is, there is no real “normal.”

We live in a world that’s evolving faster than ever before. More women are building careers and working full time than ever before. Industries are changing, booming and collapsing at rapid speeds. People aren’t living in one place for all their lives and are traveling more than any previous generation. Everything, and I mean everything, is moving faster and in new and different ways and we're all just along for the thrilling ride. There are so many factors at play that didn’t exist in the past. And yet, for some reason, the expectation as to what a “societal norm” should be really hasn’t caught up. And, hey, that's really not a bad thing. Norms aren't a healthy, beneficial way of thinking - so let's leave that all in the past and push forward.

So, friend, I challenge you to kick any and all pressure you've been feeling to the curb. Rushing into a relationship with someone who may not be a truly genuine fit for you, just because you want to start a family by a certain age or tick things off of a "to do" list, likely isn’t going to fill your heart with joy in the long run. Given that we only have one life to live, I encourage you to give yourself a break. Just slow down, take a breath and allow yourself to make the most out of this crazy, incredible life you’ve been given. And when that true, overwhelming love finds its way into your life, the rest will fall into place from there.

4. When You Feel a Spark, Fan It!

The last point I want to share before I close off today’s post and let you return to your much-deserved weekend is that, when you feel a spark, you mustn't be afraid to fan it and see what happens. Don’t let yourself get caught up with what “might” happen – good or bad – and just go with it. We, as humans, tend to spend a lot of time over-thinking and analyzing things. What we need to remind ourselves to do, however, is to let go and really allow ourselves to experience and feel. So, I'm encouraging you to do just that!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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You Miss The Man You Wish He Was… And Why Those Feelings Will Fade

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There’s a country song that has a lyric that’s always stuck with me. It goes a little something like, “you miss the man you wish he was.” The lyric is about feeling hurt, lonely and nostalgic following a breakup but being able to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is more about whom you wish you had been with as opposed to the person you really were with. What I find many of my clients find, however, that it’s moving on from a break up that is truly the hardest. The other day, I was speaking to a woman who had recently gone through a break up and was feeling really down about it. I asked her what exactly it was she thought she’d be missing out on in her life without him in it. She paused for a moment, then another moment, and then she realized she was stumped. She discovered she was far more attached to the physical attraction she had for him then the actual unfulfilling relationship. If you can accept that breaking up with someone certainly doesn't mean you are automatically not attracted to them, it can make things easier. Think of all the people you have been attracted to but have not necessarily been in a relationship with, now your ex is one of them. Aside from her attraction, she also re-discovered there was nothing in life she couldn’t experience without him they just now looked different. In fact, her new experiences could turn out to be better than she had imagined.

Transitioning from always having someone around and being “one half of a whole” to being single and entirely self-reliant can be difficult. That, I can’t deny. However, I believe that often times people get so caught up in the strangeness of that feeling that they start to grow falsely nostalgic; sometimes even considering trying to get their ex-partner back. Anyone feeling this way needs to remember that it’s natural and OK to feel these feelings. What’s so important, though, is that the feelings are acknowledged and recognized for what they are – romanticized nostalgia.

As time goes on, particularly when we’re feeling blue, we tend to romanticize past events and relationships. Memories make way for nostalgia and we easily begin to confuse moments of upset and disappointment for feelings of normalcy, routine and even comfort. When moving forward in life without someone we used to interact with constantly, we can feel off kilter or unlike ourselves – even when nothing about ourselves has changed.

If you’re considering a break up or have recently gone through one, I encourage you to give it time.  If you want to spend an entire weekend in bed crying, I say go for it. Don't judge yourself, just let the tears flow. The sad, crappy feelings will fade and stick around for shorter periods of time. You will find excitement, confidence and love again. What’s most important right now is that you allow your heart to feel what it’s feeling, but to remind yourself that you are just as capable, spectacular and worthy of love as you’ve ever been – if not more so.

There are many ways to mellow a hurting heart and speed your path to emotional recovery following a break up. One of the most rewarding activities I can recommend is yoga. While yoga is an incredible work out for your body, it’s also an exercise for your mind and inner self. Surrounding yourself with calmness and other people seeking fulfillment and serenity will help you achieve those goals as well. Try doing one thing a day that you love, big or small. Everyone is different so for some it might be time with loved ones and others it might be going for a long bike ride or eating your lunch away from your desk and out in the park. This will help you on your journey to achieving your “new” normal.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Oh I Don’t Care, Wherever You Like Is Fine

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As a woman, you no longer need to rely on a man to go out and hunt for your food or to protect you from wooly mammoths, but did you know that a man’s instinct is still to protect you and to provide for you in whatever way he can? While our roles in society now are much more fluid than they were in tribal society, both men and women have instinctual urges that can be seen in the way that we relate to one another

Historically, a women’s survival depended largely on her relationship to a man, and more specifically, her ability to please him.

And while that may no longer be the case, a woman’s instinct is a strong driving factor behind how she behaves in her romantic relationships.

In much the same way, a man instinctively wants to provide for and protect the women he loves. He may not go out on the hunt for, but he certainly does want to take care of you.

Here’s an example.

When a man is walking down the street with a woman that he feels compelled to protect, he will often walk on whichever side of her is closest to the street.

It’s a small thing, and one that most women would not likely notice, but for a man this is an instinctive act of protection.

This is his way of keeping you safe and out of harm’s way.

For a woman, her instinct may arise when she is asked by a man where she’d like to go out for dinner.

How often have you been asked this question and then promptly answered, ‘Oh, I don’t care. Whatever you’d like is fine.’

This is a classic example of how we, as women, operate from our instinctive supporter/adapter mode of being.

But guess what? He’s asking you what you want because HE wants to provide for you.

He wants to make you HAPPY.

So while you’re busy trying to please him, he’s busy trying to figure out how to give you what you want – but you won’t tell him![

So ]2the next time a man asks you where you’d like to go for dinner, watch how quick you are to respond and see if you can pause and just take a breath.

Then instead of saying it doesn’t matter, trust that he’s asking you because he really does want to know what would make you happy, and then tell him where you’d like to go.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Body Language Attraction 101

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Whether you consider yourself proficient at reading body language or someone who consistently doesn’t pick up hints, you will learn something new from these tips. When it comes to flirting and body language, author Rachel DeAlto does a great job in summing it up in her book, “Flirt Fearlessly”.  I recommend giving it a read to learn signs of attraction. She opens by saying, “Being able to read another’s nonverbal cues can save you a lot of time, and even prevent rejection. This interpretation can help you determine whether or not a touch is appropriate, if further conversations are worthwhile, or whether you should ask for a phone number or a date. There are certain things that men and women do differently in terms of body language, however, for the most part, the cues are quite similar.”

When you are assessing body language, don’t make any decisions based on just one. Look for clusters of signs.

Here are some gender-neutral signals of interest that Rachel describes in her book:

Squared off shoulders – if they are positioned so that it seems as if you are opening your hearts to each other, it is a sign that you are receptive and interested in hearing what they have to say. It says loud and clear, “I am listening, and I want to connect with you” – without your having to utter a syllable.

  • Leaning forward
  • Open and animated gestures
  • Lip Licking
  • Flared nostrils
  • Open arms
  • Mirroring – if they are in sync with your movements, they are interested
  • Pointy feet – if they are facing you, they are interested
  • Raised eyebrows – subtle but noticeable
  • Eye contact/Smiling
  • Dilated pupils
  • Preening
  • Laughter
  • Light touches
  • Head tilt – the classic come hither move

Here are some signs women give that Rachel describes in her book:

  • Hair twirling It can be a subconscious sign of nervousness, but it can also be a come-hither signal.
  • Crossed legs If she crosses her legs and her top leg points in your direction, she is interested. If the top leg points away, she might not be (or maybe she just had to switch legs to avoid a cramp…you’ll have to investigate a little further to find out).
  • Wandering fingers If a woman has a drink and she’s attracted to you, she may start to rub the bottom of the glass with her fingertips, or stroke the stem of the wine glass.
  • Touchy feely Especially from a woman, a touch can mean a lot. In a flirting situation, it is one of the most accurate signals that she’s interested.
  • Shoe dance Dangling her shoe off from her toes is a way of showing that she’s comfortable in the situation.

Here are some signs men give that Rachel describes in her book:

  • Guidance As you are walking together, he “guides” you by touching the small of your back or your elbow. It’s a mixture of “Back off, I’ve got her” to other guys, “I’m not going to lose sight of this one” to himself, and “I am going to protect you” to the girl
  • Hands on hips He is trying to accentuate his physical size and confidence (or build up his confidence).
  • Puffed up If he is standing with his muscles contracted and at full attention he is trying to impress you with his stature
  • Legs spread Whether you want it or not, he is sitting across from you giving you a crotch display to indicate what he has got to offer.
  • Tie stroking/hair smoothing/sock adjusting Guys preen too –  they are trying to look good for you because they are interested.
  • Eyebrow flash If a guy is interested he will lift his eyebrows and crinkle his forehead. Just for a quick instant, though.
  • Spread legs while standing If a guy is into you, he will make a stand. Literally. If he squares off to you while standing with his legs shoulder-width apart, he is looking to mate.

As Rachel reminds us, it’s not about judging the situation based on one single sign but rather a cluster of signs. I find watching body language to be fascinating so have fun the next time you are on a date or simply observing people in public.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Talk About Your Relationship Problems

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You and your guy have a pretty good relationship. It’s not over-the-moon, call the movie director but you are, for the most part happy. Something that nags at you though, is the two of you have a terrible time working through your relationship problems when they arise. You’ve lost site as to what even constitutes a ‘healthy relationship’. You’re not sure if it’s time to start looking at couples therapy or marriage counselling or if you need to start on your own, building communication skills together.

Many couples have rarely had a discussion when something is bothering them in their relationship. They often say to me that more often than not, if there is a problem it becomes an argument, not a discussion.  If you are someone who wants to avoid arguments, well you are not going to bring up what is bothering you, right? Generally at least one of you in the relationship can relate to this statement.

Problems can also become buried in the form of creating distance or nagging but really at the root of it is the problem.  Take some time to think about that – what is it about his “distance” or your “nagging” that could be resolved by openly talking about what the actual “problem” is.

A wise friend of mine once said to me, “a complaint is a chicken with a need”. What she meant by this is behind every complaint in a relationship or otherwise, is a need. So instead of taking it at face value that this person is complaining and there’s nothing you can do, ask them what it is they think they ‘need’. This can be a very effective place to begin.

The best relationship advice I can give you on how to talk about your relationship problems is to first mutually decide on how you are going to approach things when a problem arises. This is half the battle. My suggestion for women is to say something like:

“I’m not mad and you are not in trouble but I’d like to talk to you about something that is bothering me. When is a good time?”

You see, men often feel attacked and in trouble when women are upset so it is best to get those fears out of the way so he can actually hear you and be present.

The two of you can mutually decide on when to sit down and discuss the problem. This has to be a time where there’s no distraction. Depending on the level of the problem, this could be 15 minutes or 2 hours so you will have to be the gauge of that and clear on what amount of time you are asking for.

HOW you approach creating an opportunity to discuss the problem will often dictate the success of the outcome.  If things quickly escalate between the two of you, this might very well be the step you are missing.

During your discussion, make a commitment to really hear each other and a commitment not do dismiss each other’s feelings. That’s incredibly insulting and can stop any progress in its tracks.

And lastly, don’t try to dive too deep into any one problem and expect it will be resolved the very first time you discuss it. This would be ideal but doesn’t often happen if it’s a problem that has existed for awhile. If it’s clear you need more time to discuss and resolve then make that the outcome of your first discussion, that you will chat about it again and set a date and time – not, “hopefully soon”.

I know this relationship advice will set you off on the right foot, creating the opportunity for the two of you to begin working on becoming better communicators. And communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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