How to Get Closure… Without Getting Closure

Closure is something we often seek out after a friendship, relationship or life chapter comes to an end. When it comes to relationships, closure is important in order to process the separation and prepare to move forward with one’s life. However, with that being said, it’s often times one of the most difficult things to tackle – especially when an ex has little or no interest in attaining closure. Many women, and men alike, find it incredibly difficult to move forward without getting closure. We convince ourselves that once we get closure on our terms in a way that lives up to the picture and feeling we have created in our mind, it is then and only then we can move on. I wish it worked that way but so often it doesn't. That isn't a bad thing though. If we can accept that closure doesn't always happen in the way we want it to, there is freedom in that. When we put our life on hold waiting for closure to happen in a specific way, we ultimately end up just holding ourselves back from moving forward and finding new joy in life. An article I recent read described this prolonged limbo as “sitting with the meter running.” There comes a point when you simply have to say, “I’ve tried” and build your own closure with the understanding you’re simply notgoing to get it from your ex.

So, for those of us who need some form of closure to move on, how exactly do you create your own? Here are five thoughts to think on:

1. Allow Yourself to Be Sad

Allowing yourself to be sad about the relationship, friendship and life chapter that has ended is an uncomfortable and often painful step but it is necessary. Life as you once knew it has changed and will continue to change. Let yourself really feel these feelings before you move forward because if you don't feel them now, I can guarantee they will come up again in the future even stronger. It is perfectly normal to be both glad a relationship ended and sad it ended all at the same time. When people jump from being in a relationship to instantly celebrating its end, they never allow themselves to reflect on what they learned and how they may do things differently in their next relationship. Without this reflection time, I often see how it causes issues in their personal development and future relationships.

2. Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Each relationship and breakup is unique and so are its issues. So, for some people, the concept of putting yourself in your ex’s shoes and truly allowing yourself to explore compassion for them may seem impossible. If you can do it, however, you may be surprised at this exercise’s effectiveness. Allowing yourself to see the situation from the other’s side may help answer some of the questions you’ve been juggling in your mind. Yes, again, it is hard to do but it can be a growth opportunity for you to see how anger and fear can be lessened by inviting compassion into your life. Compassion can set you free, I truly believe that.

3. Understand That You Won’t Understand Everything

You likely have many questions you feel have gone unanswered. They may include why, how and when. If you feel that you lack understanding of how you’ve got to where you are, but you can’t find answers in your ex, I encourage you to move forward without them. The reality is that, even if you have received some answers, you will always be able to think of new questions or question the integrity of the information that you dohave. This cycle of questioning, doubting and anger isn’t healthy or conducive to your healing process. I urge you to accept you may never understand absolutely everything and that is okay.

4. Encourage Yourself to Not Take it As an Attack

If you’ve actively sought closure from your ex and have been unsuccessful in getting it, it's likely not because your ex doesn’t want you to have it. Sometimes if an ex doesn’t feel that closure is necessary for them to move on, they assume it wouldn’t be necessary for you either. Other times, the ex feels as though talking through the problem will only perpetuate the issues and will lead to further, and prolonged, feelings of anger and hurt they are wanting to avoid. Exes refusing to cooperate in achieving closure could also be, in their own way, trying to avoid hurting you further. While your relationship styles may have been similar, the way you and your ex process the breakup could be wildly different. Don't take it personally, just recognize you are different.

5. Honour The Good

Instead of rereading every text message or scrolling through your ex’s social media trying to discern where things went wrong, take a breath and remember to honour the good that was in your relationship. Try to associate the relationship with positive things, such as your self-development or milestones you achieved while together. When you do move forward, it’s inevitable that you’ll think back to this time in your past. If you can think back to this relationship and recognize the good that came from it, you’ll be able to avoid reliving feelings of pain. The more you can separate yourself from the negative, the more easily you’ll be able to refocus on your life and living joyfully.

Recently I was reading a quote and the sentiment was, ironically we can use the seeking of closure to avoid closure. Sometimes there's a part of us that is holding us back from closure because that would mean it's really, truly over and we have to move on.

Yes, you should take time to mourn the loss. Yes, you should process the situation and, yes, you can achieve closure. But, don’t let yourself wait indefinitely for it. I recognize it can be scary to think that once you’ve processed everything the only step left is to move on. That is okay. Life is waiting for you to move on and is looking forward to you rejoining and finding new and different sources of happiness.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Why Being Too Laid Back and Just “Going With the Flow” Can Actually Be a Problem

Lately, I’ve noticed a theme with female clients. Really, it’s a theme that stretches far beyond my own clients and is becoming increasingly prevalent in today’s society. Many women, in and out of relationships, are striving to be seen as that calm, cool, “oh, that’s okay” person in the eyes of their significant other while compromising their true selves. The thing is, there's a danger that comes with being too laid back. Before we venture on further into this topic, I’d like to point out an important distinction that there are lots of people who really are, just naturally, very laid back and are perfectly satisfied with their lives and relationships. In this post, I'm speaking specifically about those who wish to be perceived that way at the cost of their own well-being. It's for the women who aim to be seen as always cool, always laid back and as just going with the flow – even when, inside, they know they’re sacrificing what their heart desires.

When I say I’ve noticed this theme as of late, I should note that I’ve especially noticed it amongst strong, independent women. After a day of killing it in the boardroom or jetting across the country for a speaking gig, they arrive home to their personal lives, leaving their opinion, needs and desires at the door. They want the man they are dating to say to their friends, "I'm dating this woman who is great, she's so laid back about everything" and then hear of how cool his friends think you are for that. I swear it sounds like I am taking this out of a page of the high school chronicles, but it's out there.

Why is this happening and what sort of effects can it have on a woman and her relationship?

This “laid back” and “go with the flow” type of attitude is near constantly encouraged in mainstream movies, television and literature. Think of the last time you watched a romantic comedy. It is generally the aloof, detached woman who captures his interest. Talk about mixed messages!! No wonder it's confusing.

Now, I’m not saying that women have decided to base how they behave in relationships off of romantic comedies, but I am trying to show you just one example of how this type of thinking has become so incredibly mainstream. Media has focused on the extremes.

The problem with trying not to ask for “too much,” and thereby not asking for what she truly needs or wants, is that dissatisfaction is sure to continue to build on the inside. If she rarely voices her needs or desires on the outside, there’s nowhere else for them to go. Naturally, this can lead to extreme resentment of her partner – even though her partner may have no idea she’s feeling this way. It’s a slippery slope and, while initially she may be trying to maintain a calm collective for the benefit of her partner, it can wind up hurting him and the relationship. I've actually seen this as a major cause of some break ups.

Another problem with this kind of behaviour is that it often goes hand-in-hand with completely ignoring major warning signs or big issues like money problems, infidelity, addiction, manipulation and the like. If a woman feels or believes that she’ll be better received, liked or appreciated by letting things go time and time again, bigger and bigger relationship issues can sneak through the cracks without the attention they need and deserve.

So, how does a woman in this situation find her way out of it?

Rebalancing in a new relationship may be easier, as you may have just recently met and there's room for you to shift a bit and shed old habits. In a long-term relationship or marriage, on the other hand, you may find it a bit more difficult expressing yourself and voicing your needs and desires. However, chances are you have history, rapport and trust that will help you and your partner navigate through you shedding your “too laid back” skin. Just be careful to avoid waking up one day and suddenly announcing you are not okay with all the things he thought were just fine. Approach the topic with the desire to build a stronger understanding.

Before doing anything, I encourage you to take a half hour to yourself and truly evaluate your current circumstances, decision making process and the way you interact with the opposite sex. Maybe he’s your new boyfriend, a guy you’ve gone on a couple of dates with or your long-term partner. Whatever your individual case may be, really think on it and allow yourself to recognize how and when you just say “OK” when you’re actually feeling something entirely different on the inside. Starting there will allow you to more clearly recognize the behaviour you wish to change and will help you find examples to share. Then, it’s up to you to step outside of the laid back comfort zone and express yourself. Start with really small things to build your confidence in becoming "laid back AND having your needs met/opinions heard". For example, if the fact you would really rather stay in with him this Friday night rather than go out, just say it or if you'd rather he didn't always reach for his phone during a romantic walk together, then express it. Come to think of it, if you haven't already, visit my homepage and download my Inspire Authentic Communication worksheet and audio. I assure you that your relationship, partner and self will be thankful you did.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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What Exactly Is Conscious Uncoupling and Where Did it Come From?

In the spring of 2014, Gwenyth Paltrow published a blog post to her website, Goop, that started the divorce discussion of a decade. As media picked up her announcement, and the unusual term, millions of people thought, “What is conscious uncoupling?” And, moreover, how is it different than a regular old divorce? To answer these questions, we have to look back at the creator of the now famous two words, Katherine Woodward Thomas.

Katherine created the concept of getting “un-married” when her very own marriage of ten years began to unfold. Her then husband, who she’s now amicably dubbed her “wasband,” was not only her partner in life for ten years but also the star subject of her relationship book. The subject matter of which was all about attracting true love and building a solid relationship.

Not only was she floored by her marriage heading to divorce (this would be her second divorce), but she couldn’t imagine going through the judgment of friends and family, people taking sides, one partner attacking the other or the overall shameful feelings that come with the idea of failure. She decided that this would not be a “traditional divorce” in the sense that society has grown accustomed to. It would be something more meaningful, loving and serene.

If you think of how most relationships end, it’s generally because one or both partners are at fault. They’re blamed with having done something – or not done something. Our instinct, as humans, is to identify the problem. When in a relationship nearing its end, partners tend to try to find the problem in the other. Katherine’s concept, on the other hand, encourages partners to acknowledge the larger issues and focus on moving forward. If it’s been decided that a relationship’s over, there’s no point in overanalyzing every action or word ever said in order to assign blame. What’s important is moving forward in the least damaging way, to both parties, possible.

Fundamentally, consciously uncoupling comes down to authentically appreciating the good in the relationship and working to ensure both partners are happy, ready and able to move forward in life and love. Where extended families or children are involved, it’s about continuing to foster a sense of family – even if there is no longer a relationship status or binding tie in the eyes of the law.

For most, the idea of witnessing – and actively taking part – in the undoing of a union is tragic. Even Katherine herself admits to being devastated and has been quick to acknowledge that she wouldn’t have considered her husband a “friend” during the divorce proceedings. Instead, she refers to their relationship as having had a “friendly atmosphere.”

If you’ve been through a divorce, are currently divorcing or are recently separated, it’s not too late to consciously uncouple. It can be done with both partners actively participating, or just one partner. At the end of the day, it’s all about how you feel about and approach the situation. Only you can control your feelings and actions, and you do have the power to begin again without anger, resentment and pain.

As it turns out, while Gwenyth was following the principles set forth by Woodward Thomas, it was Goop’s editor who titled the blog post “Conscious Uncoupling.” So while, in reality, Gwenyth was unfamiliar with Katherine’s work at the time that she wrote her blog post, her celebrity power has shed an incredibly bright light on the fundamental problems with divorce and, now, an increasingly more widely adapted alternative.

If you’re wondering how it could ever be possible to face divorce, and particularly the more difficult aspects, with such a positive mindset, you might find this quote enlightening:

“So much that was beautiful and so much that was hard to bear. Yet whenever I showed myself ready to bear it, the hard was directly transformed into the beautiful.” - Katherine Woodward Thomas, Consciously Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Say "Yes" to Love, Even if You Haven't Met Anyone Yet

One of the most common reasons people give as to why they stop dating or close themselves off from love is, “I just never seem to find anybody right for me.” Spending time and money on online dating, speed dating or even just the emotional spend of meeting people through friends or family can get old fast when you feel that it just “never works out.” If you feel this way, I want you to know that I completely understand where you’re coming from. It’s in our nature to avoid doing something if we know it didn't work out last time around. But, should we really be treating finding love the same way we treat finding the right hobby or sport? You guessed it, friend. The answer is a resounding, "No!"

Something I talk about quite often is that, in love and life, it’s so incredibly important to keep an open mind and open heart. Lately, I find that I can't say it enough! While it might sound corny, I truly do believe that things happen for a reason – and always in their own time. There are some things that we simply can’t force, rush or make happen simply by planning. Love, and I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this, is one of those things.

So, how are you supposed to stay open to the idea of love when things haven’t been going your way? Why should you say “yes” to love if you feel that you never meet anyone right for you? These are both incredibly valid questions. In fact, they're the reasons I’m writing this post today. I want to give you some real, actionable ways that you can begin opening yourself up to the possibility of love starting today. I think you’ll find that when you open your mind and heart, that’s when the real magic starts to happen. So, let's jump into it!

1. Leave the Story in the Past, but Take the Lesson with You

Everyone, at some point, has experienced a bad relationship. It may have been romantic. It could have been a friendship. Or, it could even have been with a coworker. When it comes down to it, something went wrong and things didn’t turn out. What I really, really want you to do is to leave that negative experience in the past and not carry it with you on your journey forward.

While failed relationships can offer great opportunities for learning, it’s important that you recognize the learning for what it is and only take that forward in your life – and that you leave the rest in the past. It’s natural to want to protect yourself and to put up walls or barriers, but when you start building more and more of these walls you eventually become entirely closed off. And that makes it even harder for fantastic, new people to make their way into your life.

2. Be Ready for Love by Loving Yourself

I’ve written before about the concept of “like attracting like.” If you’re self-critical and so focused on all the reasons why someone else wouldn’t like you, you’re not opening yourself up to meeting someone – and certainly not allowing for a relationship to truly flourish. It’s been said time and time again, but you honestly do have to learn to love yourself before you’ll truly be comfortable putting yourself out there and saying “yes” to love with another person.

I’d encourage you to browse through some of my older posts to read the different ways you can foster greater self-acceptance and self-love. I believe you’ll find that when you are your happiest, most authentic self is when you’ll attract the right people into your life.

3. Give Yourself a Break

Something I know can be tough to deal with is societal pressure – and this absolutely includes pressure from friends and family. This "pressure" that I speak of may come in the form of them asking about why you’re single. It may come in the form of a comment like, “If you want a family then you better settle down soon!” These types of comments aren’t always meant to be hurtful. In fact, the people saying them usually have no idea the negative energy the words can carry. These types of thoughts have been engrained into people’s heads by way of societal pressure and what society defines as “normal.” The thing is, there is no real “normal.”

We live in a world that’s evolving faster than ever before. More women are building careers and working full time than ever before. Industries are changing, booming and collapsing at rapid speeds. People aren’t living in one place for all their lives and are traveling more than any previous generation. Everything, and I mean everything, is moving faster and in new and different ways and we're all just along for the thrilling ride. There are so many factors at play that didn’t exist in the past. And yet, for some reason, the expectation as to what a “societal norm” should be really hasn’t caught up. And, hey, that's really not a bad thing. Norms aren't a healthy, beneficial way of thinking - so let's leave that all in the past and push forward.

So, friend, I challenge you to kick any and all pressure you've been feeling to the curb. Rushing into a relationship with someone who may not be a truly genuine fit for you, just because you want to start a family by a certain age or tick things off of a "to do" list, likely isn’t going to fill your heart with joy in the long run. Given that we only have one life to live, I encourage you to give yourself a break. Just slow down, take a breath and allow yourself to make the most out of this crazy, incredible life you’ve been given. And when that true, overwhelming love finds its way into your life, the rest will fall into place from there.

4. When You Feel a Spark, Fan It!

The last point I want to share before I close off today’s post and let you return to your much-deserved weekend is that, when you feel a spark, you mustn't be afraid to fan it and see what happens. Don’t let yourself get caught up with what “might” happen – good or bad – and just go with it. We, as humans, tend to spend a lot of time over-thinking and analyzing things. What we need to remind ourselves to do, however, is to let go and really allow ourselves to experience and feel. So, I'm encouraging you to do just that!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Persevere When Your Plan Doesn’t Unfold Perfectly

  I speak a lot on my blog, in my newsletter and with my clients about the importance of leaving some wiggle room in any plan. Having a game plan is important and helps keep you on track and pushing in the right direction, but it’s inevitable that something somewhere along the line isn’t going to unfold as perfectly as you’d like. And that’s OK. Heck, sometimes that’s when you really strike gold and find an even better path to fulfillment and happiness than you could ever have dreamt of.

With all that being said, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that speed bumps and U-turns on your road to living an authentic, fulfilling life aren’t discouraging. Sometimes the bump’s not so major and it’s easy enough to keep jugging along. Other times it’s a much larger wrench that gets thrown into things and it can feel as though you’re never going to achieve what you’re trying to, or you may even sit and wonder if you’ve made a huge mistake trying in the first place.

Friend, I want you to know that taking steps (even backwards steps) on the path to living the life you are called to live is major progress. It’s more than a lot of people on this planet wind up doing in their entire lives, so take a moment to celebrate your very intention to take the journey.

The universe is never going to stop throwing you curve balls. It’s also never going to stop presenting you with prime opportunities to leap forward and experience an abundance of happiness – it’s all about being ready for when it happens and not pumping the brakes on your momentum. To help you persevere when times get tough and stay motivated, I really want you to take note of the following three tips and do your best to put them into action.

1. Have an Attitude of Expectancy, But Don’t Allow Pessimistic Thoughts

Acknowledging that life’s filled with opportunities and obstacles is one thing. Assuming that no matter how hard you try, you’re never going to get anywhere is another. Move forward in life and in your goals with an “attitude of expectancy.” Expect obstacles, but focus on how these speed bumps will push you to seek creative solutions and be even better. Expect greatness of yourself, even if that greatness is getting your butt to the gym once a week or doing a little DIY juicing.

If you can visualize overcoming a problem and achieving your goals, you can make it happen.

2. Be Authentically Positive

I urge you to seek out the positive in situations and do so authentically which in my books, means dropping what feels fake positive and moving toward what feels genuinely positive. When you build a new relationship, encounter a new experience or find yourself dealing with a dilemma – truly look for the positive elements. When you put this into practice on a regular basis, you’ll find yourself feeling happier and forming stronger bonds with others, developing a greater self-appreciation and will be able to more easily envision your future achievements and have confidence in your goals.

3. Know When to Ask For Help

Knowing when to leverage the skills and expertise of others is a sign of exceptionally great leadership and entrepreneurship. If you’ve hit a roadblock and feel as though you can’t trek forward alone – don’t! Reach out to a fellow college alumni, dial up your mentor (or find a mentor!) or even bounce some ideas off a friend. Humans aren’t programmed to be entirely independent all of the time. We need discussion, collaboration and interaction. In fact, we greatly benefit from interacting with our peers.

I’m going to end this post with a quote I like and feel is especially relevant to this post. It goes, “The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” As you begin a new day, chapter or venture, I encourage you to keep this in mind. Recite it, write it down or just let it run through your mind every once in a while. Every step is worth celebrating and every speed bump should remind you that you’re moving.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Become a Juicing Master at Home: Cold-Pressed vs. Vitamix and Beyond

You might be wondering why I'm writing about juicing. Well, I like to write about personal, relatable experiences as often as possible and this one has been on my mind for weeks. I have been trying to master the art of juicing and creating awesome smoothies for months now and have made a ton of mistakes so decided to look into what I might be missing in the equation. One of the big things that happened is I went into a local juice spot and didn't really look at the prices until it was too late and I found myself paying $14 for one-single-juice! In my mind, I could've purchased at least 5 bags of spinach or 6 bunches of kale so I concluded, I need to figure out the at-home version and also figure out what's better for me in the world of juicing (little did I know there's lots of different ways!) “Juicing” is a term that’s become incredibly popular in the last two years. While it’s been a way for many to ensure their bodies receive the nutrition they need for much longer than two years, it’s gained huge mainstream popularity more recently. With home juicing and mixing machines readily available, and becoming increasingly affordable, why would you subject yourself to a $14 bill at a juicery anymore? (oh and I am loving the entrepreneurial spirit around all the juicing spots popping up, I just want to balance my budget with juicing at home too!)

Looking after yourself from the inside out is something that’s super important to me. But, I know there must be a way to do this for less money and from the comfort of home. So, I did a little research and want to share with you today how you can start becoming a juice-making expert yourself to balance out the days you treat yourself at a juice cafe.

With the right equipment (and a certain amount of patience), you can absolutely recreate most of your favourite juices at home. When I say “the right equipment,” it’s important to understand the difference between things like a “juicer” and a “mixer.”

When you purchase juice from a juicery, it’s usually cold-pressed – particularly if the price point seems high. In true juicing, there are two juicing methods: centrifugal and cold-pressed. The first, centrifugal, is more like your traditional mixing machine like a VitaMix. It uses a fast-spinning blade to pulverize fruit and veggies and extracts the juice. With that being said, it’s not the exact same as throwing everything into a blender and calling it a day. For myself, it's a two step process where I drain the VitaMix creation through a cheese cloth to just enjoy the juice. The second, cold-pressed, involves a slow pulverizer and hydraulic press. This method is more popular with specialty juicing companies or those offering juice cleanses.

With the cold-pressed method, it’s often said that the process doesn’t create heat. However, natural heat is created when anything is being crushed and grinded. To truly maintain the label of “cold-pressed,” the standard rule of thumb is that the heat created does not venture over 50 degrees Celsius.

When it comes down to which method is better, you should consider a few things like ease of use, maintenance, end nutritional value, shelf life and how much juice you can make at once. A cold-pressed juicing machine tends to be more expensive (to both buy and maintain), takes longer to use and produces smaller batches. However, the nutritional value also tends to be higher and the juice itself can last longer.

With a centrifugal machine, like Vitamix, you see larger batches, slightly lower cost and better ease of use. While the end result may not have asconcentrated of nutrients, you are still fully capable of making delicious, nutritious juices that are much more packed with healthy ingredients than your standard grocery store OJ.

For me, I think I'm going to stick with Vitamix at home and then treat myself to a coldpress juice now and again. There's less clean up with a vitamix and the cheese cloth really does do the trick.

Once you’ve chosen your machine type and are ready to get going, you’ll be glad to know there is an endless supply of juice recipes online. From those that teach how to emulate popular juice cleanses like Blueprint Cleanse to easy, everyday juices featuring nearly a single ingredient – you’ll have a blast learning, growing and treating your body to a healthy dose of delicious whenever you wish.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Nemophilist: One who is fond of forest or forest scenery; a haunter of the woods.

I’ve written before about my love for nature and its unparalleled ability to calm, soothe and rejuvenate. Whether it’s a day spent by the water or an afternoon spent wandering the woods, nothing helps you realign your goals and hit “reset” like Mother Earth. If you have recently felt overwhelmed, anxious or without direction, I’m hoping this post can offer you guidance and get you back on a path towards healing and joy. Since I’ve been drawn more than normal to the forest lately, let’s start there.

There’s something very powerful about being reminded of how small you are as you bob and weave throughout trees so tall they create a canopy, blocking out the sun and immersing you in wildlife. Many forests are home to plant life that began growing hundreds of years before you were born, a welcome reminder of how easy it can be to get so caught up in the craziness of right “now” that we forget it’s fleeting.

Breathing deeply and trekking through even your local park is a surefire way to bring things into focus and give current problems better context. Come the end of your journey, you’re sure to feel more relaxed, at ease and with a better grip of your next move. In the city, I currently live in, Toronto, I've found a nice route within High Park that takes me in and out of a few 'foresty' trails.

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Another element of nature I love is water and, specifically, large bodies of it. If you’re able, I encourage you to travel to the sea or ocean. Salty air, natural formed cliffs and hardly being able to make out what’s beyond the horizon is an awakening experience. I could spend hours sitting by the water watching it ebb and flow.

If you’ve been having trouble sleeping or city life’s got you down, make sure you take a break but without making it too complicated. My view is if you make it too complicated, you won't prioritize it. Lots of cities have local "beaches" whether they rest on a lake, river or ocean. If you have the time, take a drive to a nearby town or community where water is a bit more accessible. Whatever you do, try to leave some time that is free of planning and "doing" and allow yourself to simply enjoy the sounds of the water and its rehabilitating abilities.

Last but not least, I’d like to talk to you about simply stepping outside and enjoying the bright warmth of the sun. If you live in an area of the world with four seasons, you can go a long time without really being able to enjoy the sun. Then, once summer comes, we sometimes get so wrapped up in vacationing plans and the day-to-day that we forget to get outside and just enjoy the warmth.

Water1

Now, I’m not suggesting you go and lay out under the sun until you’re red and crispy. Maybe you’ll sit under the shady canopy of a tree. Perhaps you’ll be on a patio. Or, maybe you do want to lounge out with some SPF and soak up the rays. Whatever you do, know that the sun has been an element worshipped by people for centuries. Sometimes, all you need is a 15-minute break to a quiet place out under the sunshine and you’ll feel brand new and ready to take on your day. If you spend a lot of time at work under fluorescent lights and struggle to break away from the grind, you’ll likely find this to be especially true for you. Take a beat, take a breath and allow nature to heal you, friend.

With summer drawing to a close, my mind is already racing to think of all the ways I can continue to enjoy nature once the temperature drops. If you’re a nemophilist and love the forest, or are someone who’s drawn to all types of nature, I’d love to hear how you plan on embracing the cooler months.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How Your Happiness Delights the World Around You

We’ve all heard the saying, “A smile is contagious.” But, when we’re so immersed in our day-to-day lives, it can be easy to forget the powerful impact our smile can have on not only ourselves, but the world around us. Can you think of a time you saw someone smiling or laughing and it made you do the same thing? Even if it was just a small "corner of the mouth" smile. Contagious! :) There have been times in my life and particularly in the last 2 years, where I literally wanted to tell a person or even a stranger how much their smile meant to me. It sometimes seemed odd that I didn't share their impact but often, I just quietly accepted the gift and noted the impact. Knowing that a lot of people are shy to share the impact, I try to approach my interactions with others like "you just never know what is going on in their life so a good approach is a genuine smile and kindness."

When you are living a truly authentic, grateful life and seek to recognize the privilege of your life, this radiates from within. Your friends, family, coworkers and even strangers on the street can sense you are on a journey of seeking peace within. Your happiness and even your desire for happiness affects them. Here’s how, and why, it works:

Your Happiness Expands Your Thinking and Tolerance Levels

When you are in a positive mind space, you are more likely to practice a greater level of tolerance and acceptance than when you’re thinking negative thoughts. Your mind is more open to new experiences, cultures, people and ways of life. I believe lack of tolerance has a major affect on the global levels of anger, hate and war.

Your Happiness Inspires Others to Live More Happily

When other people see you smiling, laughing and enjoying life, it encourages and inspires them to look at how they can do the same. It's rarely an overnight switch but think of times you have left interactions with a positive person and have felt better about your current situation. If not better, than maybe a shift in perspective will eventually lead to better. We all need people in our lives to inspire us to look at things differently.

Your Genuine Nature Draws People to You

Nothing is more attractive than genuine happiness. Your authentic smile draws people in and your positive, upbeat attitude welcomes new friends, acquaintances and even relationships. In fact, over the years, I've had many clients comment on how being genuine is increasingly important in new and lasting relationships. It's like you can fully relax around someone who is being genuine. Many of us feel vulnerable when we are being genuine but trust me, it's the best place to be and draws like-minded people to you.

Your Happiness Comforts Others

Everyone loves having a friend they can depend on when times get tough. Your ability to seek out the silver lining and bright side of things provides comfort and reassurance to those around you. When you yourself are then going through a rough patch in your own life, those same people will be there to offer the same comfort and reassurance to you. People want to be there and support someone who routinely lifts them up in life.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Discover Happiness in Your Everyday Life… Starting Today

Happiness. It’s the goal we strive for and how we measure self-achievement. You may believe you’ll be “happy” once you get that raise you’ve been after. Perhaps your happiness rests on buying a new house or trading in your car. It might mean a certain salary, number of friends or the freedom to travel as you please. Or, maybe, it’s in a strong relationship with an amazing partner. Whatever the cause, chances are that you, too, are chasing happiness. The thing about happiness, however, is that it’s the product of making a conscious decision to experience the feeling. No amount of money, no beautiful home and no perfect partner can truly make you happy if you don’t choose to be so. The same can be said for the reverse – I’ve met many fantastic, over-the-moon happy people over the years that are incredibly humble and content to live within small means. It all comes down to choice.

In this post, I’d like to share with you a few ways to make the conscious effort to live more happily. You might be surprised at how much happiness is just sitting there waiting for you in your everyday life. Read on, friend!

5. Take Inventory of Your Surroundings

When you woke up this morning, was it in a reasonably comfortable bed with covers and a pillow? Were you able to choose from a closet of clothes and brush your teeth with clean, drinkable water? These simple, basic things are so often taken for granted when other people are quite literally praying for them. You are incredibly fortunate, probably more than you’ll ever know, and have the unique opportunity to choose how you spend your life.

For 3-5 minutes a day, I urge you to sit on your bed and stay quiet. Take a mental inventory of the many fortunes you’ve experienced throughout the day – from a meal at lunch to a safe and reliable way to get home. Look around you, right in your very own room, and take inventory of your belongings and ability to feel at ease in your own space. I’m betting that you’ll begin to appreciate your surroundings and start to feel happier.

4. Go Exploring… on a Trail or in Your Own Backyard

Nature has the remarkable ability to remind of us our smallness in the world and yet motivate us to see the beauty in nearly everything – including our own lives. Head out to the local trails for a relaxing walk or even just toss on those gardening shoes and head out to your own backyard. Allowing yourself to focus on nature and your surroundings will free up space in your mind for positive, happy thoughts. It’s pretty hard to focus on anything negative when there’s so much beauty and life surrounding you!

To kick it up a notch, slip in a comfy pair of ear buds or grab a portable speaker and listen to your favourite tunes. An upbeat, happy song will help make the most of the experience and have you feeling energized and ready to conquer just about anything in no time.

3. Tidy Your Space

Remember back when you were in high school or university and found it difficult to concentrate in a messy space? How we keep the spaces around us strongly impacts how we feel inside. A messy, cluttered room can leave you feeling anxious and down. A clean, tidy space can have the opposite effect. If you want to re-energize and start feeling upbeat, I recommend doing a little cleaning. Once the clutter’s cleared, you’ll start to feel happier and more accomplished almost instantly.

If your life’s simply too hectic to keep a clean house, consider hiring a cleaning service to come by even once every couple of weeks. The delight and surprise you’ll feel when you come home to a clean house at the end of the day can make all the difference sometimes! Just be sure to carefully review the cleaning rates ahead of time because a big bill will have those happy feelings flying away just as quickly as they arrived.

2. Sleep More

This one’s so simple. Just sleep more! Our bodies are under a ton of stress on a daily basis, both conscious and subconscious. Sometimes, we simply don’t get enough REM sleep and deep, restful Zs to help us fully recharge. When you start the day feeling sleepy and irritable, you can bet it’s not going to improve as the hours wear on. So, why not put in a little effort and try to catch a few more winks?

Hit the hay earlier during the week and allow yourself to hit “snooze” a couple of times come the weekend. The world will keep turning while you enjoy an extra thirty minutes of sleep and you’ll awake feeling more refreshed, and happier, because of it.

1. Talk it Out

Have you ever heard the expression, “Just let it all out?” Sometimes, people just need to vent. This is when it’s great to have someone in your life, like a friend or family member, who you can call up or meet with to talk it out. Was your week especially tough and you really feel as though you need to get a few things off of your chest? Do it! And, if you don’t feel as though you have anyone you can call up right this moment, consider leaving a comment on this post so I can hear your thoughts.

Friend, happiness is waiting for you. In fact, it’s really already here – it’s up to you to see it and allow yourself to feel it. If you have any other tips you’d like to share, please leave them in the comments section! I’d love to hear from you.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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The Power of Travel & How it Helps You Grow

While travel is often regarded as a fun way to escape everyday life and experience new things, the benefits it offers to your mind and soul reach far beyond just that. Travel can be a liberating experience; an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone and experience life as you never imagined. It can be a teaching experience – a chance to immerse yourself in a new culture or different way of life. It can also be an eye-opening experience and one that leads to great personal growth, change and even re-evaluation. Let’s look at just a few of the ways that travel is so powerful and how it can help you grow.

1. Strengthen (and Challenge) Your Relationship

We’ve all seen at least one movie or read one book in which a couple heads out on an adventure, only to wind up questioning everything about their bond along the way. In a sense this is true, as travel puts both partner outside of his or her comfort zone and challenges you both to experience different challenges, obstacles and joys. However, travel can be an excellent way to strengthen your relationship. You’ll have to work together to find your way, challenge yourselves to overcome language and cultural barriers and will have memories – good and bad – to look back on for the years to come.

2. Learn Patience, Understanding and Acceptance

Nothing teaches patience quite like exploration. You might find that you miss a bus, your train is delayed or your flight has been cancelled. Perhaps you’ll struggle reading a local map and take a while to make it to your dinner reservation or find your way back to where you’re staying. Depending on your travel destination, the situations will be different but the need for patience and understanding will remain the same.

To truly build your patience, understanding and appreciation I would encourage you to travel to somewhere that you do not speak the language. As a society, we’re generally very used to getting what we ask for. Experiencing difficulty communicating with words and having to rely on patience, understanding and acceptance will help you grow as a person and develop non-verbal communication skills like never before.

3. Change Your Perspective… or Get Some

How you view the world does impact how the world views you. Most often, our perspective on life and all that it encompasses is highly dependent on those we choose to surround ourselves with, our upbringing and our cultural experiences. To truly develop your own perspective, or break away from the routine and find some to begin with, I encourage you to travel.

Visiting a remote village in South Africa or a bustling street in Thailand will allow you to see how other people view the world, daily life and you. Watching people in routines similar to your own, but carried out in immensely different ways, is a highly rewarding experience. You’ll quickly learn how fortunate you are to have such easy access to things such as clean drinking water, delicious foods and even somewhat dependable public transportation.

4. Meeting new people!

Travel is a unique bonding experience. Chances are you’ll come across all sorts of people you would never have met in your everyday life. Travel has this fun ability to take different people from completely different upbringings, with totally different views, and create an incredible bond. This can be especially true when you choose to travel alone.

There are tons of travel tour groups that can create planned trips for small or large groups of people. There's also niche tour groups, but most commonly the groups are based on age. If you’re craving a change, are looking to do a little soul searching or just need to step outside of the norm – consider a group tour. I know that sometimes when I travel, I go partially with a group and then partially on my own. You'll walk away with spectacular memories, strong new friendships and immense personal growth. You may be surprised at the new friendships you build or even the opportunity to meet a new romantic partner. Truly, anything is possible!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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P.S. The photo above is from a recent trip to Sedona. Isn't it beautiful? Be sure to follow me on Instagram for travel adventures, everyday words of advice and more.

Is the “7 Year Itch” Real… Not Just in Relationships but in Life?

There’s often talk about the “seven year itch.” The idea is that, when you’re in a relationship for seven years, you start to second-guess yourself at the seven-year mark. Maybe you begin itching for a change. Perhaps you’re compelled to re-evaluate your relationship (and yourself) with more scrutiny than before. While American data points to the seven year itch being quite real for American marriages, I’d like to discuss the possibility of the “itch” being more about one person and his or her life than the relationship as a whole. Let's look together to answer the question, "Is the 7 year itch real?" once and for all. Like I mentioned, American data (specifically the financial data compiled by Credit Donkey) shows a clear trend: the majority of divorces that happen in the USA actually occur in the eighth year of marriage. Then we have Rudolf Steiner, an Austrian philosopher, who created a theory in which humans physically and mentally change every seven years. If one person in a partnership is on a different, or even the same, seven-year development cycle, it makes sense that things may get a little rocky – especially when the changes happen to be large.

Now, friend, I’m absolutely not saying that every relationship and every marriage will become intolerable and result in divorce after seven years because we all know that’s not the case! What I am suggesting, however, is a need for both single people and people in relationships to better understand their personal growth, development and goals. This will help us not only better navigate through life, but it will make us better communicators and partners as well.

Speaking from personal experience, I can look back at my life so far and easily identify periods of change. And, you know what? They happen about every seven years. Who you are at 21, just coming out of your teenaged years, can be vastly different than who you are at 28 – just about ready to enter your 30s. Who you are at 35 is likely different, again, from who you are at 43. It’s natural and healthy to grow a little restless and to experience a change in your outlook and goals. Also, who you are at 21 vs 43 can be very similar but it might just look different. In my own life, I can definitely see that the quest for adventure was there at 21 and still is but it just looks different now.

Think of your immediate group of friends for a moment. It’s likely, much like I do, that you know at least one person who hates the idea of change – perhaps they’re even scared of it. They likely find great comfort in things staying exactly the same and waking up each and every day to the same routine. If, one day, they were to wake up and begin to crave great change, without even understanding why, I’m sure it would be unsettling. Their life perspective would shift, their relationships may become strained and their personality may evolve.

Now, think back to your group of friends – or even family members. Again, much like I can identify this personality trait, you likely know someone who regularly seeks change and grows restless extremely quickly. Perhaps this person doesn’t really know what they want and figures they won’t know ‘til it’s right in front of them. Perhaps they’re afraid of their life becoming “stagnant.” Whatever the case, imagine how this person may feel if they had a partner with a similar lust for constant change only to find, one day, that one of them now just wanted everything to slow down and settle. Naturally, it would create challenges.

What I recommend doing regularly, not just every seven years, is sitting down and really connecting with yourself. Ask yourself these questions:

“How happy are you...really?”

“What could you be doing to lead a happier, fuller life today?”

And, if you’re in a relationship, ask yourself these as well:

“Why do you love your partner?” (asking "Why" brings you closer to the positive feeling of all the reasons you chose your partner)

“How could you reinforce (or remind!) yourself and your partner the positive reasons you chose each other?”

"Can you identify the areas of growth and frame them as that, as opposed to seeing change as a negative?"

A strong understanding of not only who you are right now, but who your partner is as well, is necessary for success. But, you also need to leave a good amount of space for changing and evolving. Just as you’re not the same now as you were seven or fourteen years ago, it makes perfect sense that who you’ll be – single or as a partnership – is bound to change seven years from now. The key is being able to see the positive in that –the space for growth as a partnership instead of growing away from the partnership.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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5 Things Mindful People Do Differently Every Single Day

In a world filled with increasingly long work hours, constant high stress situations and feelings of disconnection, it’s really no wonder the concept of practicing mindfulness has shed its “new age” skin and become a mainstream phenomenon. The thing about mindful living, however, is that it’s anything but new. If you look at how your parents have lived their lives, or better yet, how your grandparents lived, it’s obvious that society’s loss of mindfulness is quite recent. If you’re seeking a natural, easy-to-follow, rewarding and effective way to combat anxiety and feel more connected to both yourself and the world, read on. This post is all about five things that mindful people do different every single day… and that you should start doing too.

5. Mindful people allow themselves to disconnect from the digital world.

In between texting and blogging and checking emails and surfing the web, all that we see and experience online gets logged in our brains. The amount of time we spend watching TV and online does impact our quality of life, mental health and overall mood. Mindful people know that it’s important to break away from the digital world; to go offline for periods of time.

With this precious offline time, reconnect with an old friend over coffee (and don't document it online, haha!), read a paperback book or take your furry friend for a longer walk then a quick jaunt around the block.

4. Mindful people allow themselves to experience nature.

Nature is a remarkable thing. It has the ability to calm, nurture and re-energize us like very few other things are capable of doing. Mindful people understand the need to reconnect with Mother Nature and often go on morning walks, evening jogs or weekend hikes. Allowing yourself to feel small in comparison to nature’s sprawling wildlife can do wonders to repair your mind, body and soul. Reconsider replacing the treadmill with a park in the warmer months!

3. Mindful people pay attention to, and care about, what they put into their bodies.

Your parents probably told you, at some point or another, “You are what you eat.” Science is proving, more and more, that this statement is truer than we probably thought. Mindful people are conscious of what it is that they eat and how they fuel their bodies. When you fill your body with junk food, for example, you can’t expect to feel a “lasts all day” energy. When you take time to plan meals, incorporate “feel good” foods that are packed with nutrients, however, you can literally feel the difference.

2. Mindful people understand the value of not multi-tasking.

As society pushes people to do more and more for less and less, multi-tasking has become a seemingly holy grail of skills. But, is it really? Studies have proven that those who allow themselves to “unitask” and focus their energy on a single task at once actually get far more complete in a day. Multi-tasking can lead to distraction; poor time management skills and, ultimately, lessened productivity. Though it definitely has it's place, we just need to watch it's not always present.

Instead of focusing on juggling a million things at once, make an effort to boost your time-management and prioritization skills. This will allow you to tackle tasks in order of their importance and get more done, rather than juggle double the tasks for twice as long.

1. Mindful people allow themselves to feel their feelings before reacting.

Our world is full of distractions. It’s like the saying goes, “If you want something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” It’s not difficult to find a distraction when you feel sad, angry, lonely or anxious. In fact, it’s incredibly easy to avoid a particular thought or stop yourself from experiencing a certain emotion. But, mindful people don’t do that. Instead, they allow themselves to truly feel their feelings.

If you don’t allow yourself to experience your anger, upset or confusion you won’t enjoy happiness near as much as is possible. You also won’t push yourself to solve the problem that’s causing you to have the negative feelings. You need to acknowledge and feel your feelings before you can properly react.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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You Miss The Man You Wish He Was… And Why Those Feelings Will Fade

There’s a country song that has a lyric that’s always stuck with me. It goes a little something like, “you miss the man you wish he was.” The lyric is about feeling hurt, lonely and nostalgic following a breakup but being able to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is more about whom you wish you had been with as opposed to the person you really were with. What I find many of my clients find, however, that it’s moving on from a break up that is truly the hardest. The other day, I was speaking to a woman who had recently gone through a break up and was feeling really down about it. I asked her what exactly it was she thought she’d be missing out on in her life without him in it. She paused for a moment, then another moment, and then she realized she was stumped. She discovered she was far more attached to the physical attraction she had for him then the actual unfulfilling relationship. If you can accept that breaking up with someone certainly doesn't mean you are automatically not attracted to them, it can make things easier. Think of all the people you have been attracted to but have not necessarily been in a relationship with, now your ex is one of them. Aside from her attraction, she also re-discovered there was nothing in life she couldn’t experience without him they just now looked different. In fact, her new experiences could turn out to be better than she had imagined.

Transitioning from always having someone around and being “one half of a whole” to being single and entirely self-reliant can be difficult. That, I can’t deny. However, I believe that often times people get so caught up in the strangeness of that feeling that they start to grow falsely nostalgic; sometimes even considering trying to get their ex-partner back. Anyone feeling this way needs to remember that it’s natural and OK to feel these feelings. What’s so important, though, is that the feelings are acknowledged and recognized for what they are – romanticized nostalgia.

As time goes on, particularly when we’re feeling blue, we tend to romanticize past events and relationships. Memories make way for nostalgia and we easily begin to confuse moments of upset and disappointment for feelings of normalcy, routine and even comfort. When moving forward in life without someone we used to interact with constantly, we can feel off kilter or unlike ourselves – even when nothing about ourselves has changed.

If you’re considering a break up or have recently gone through one, I encourage you to give it time.  If you want to spend an entire weekend in bed crying, I say go for it. Don't judge yourself, just let the tears flow. The sad, crappy feelings will fade and stick around for shorter periods of time. You will find excitement, confidence and love again. What’s most important right now is that you allow your heart to feel what it’s feeling, but to remind yourself that you are just as capable, spectacular and worthy of love as you’ve ever been – if not more so.

There are many ways to mellow a hurting heart and speed your path to emotional recovery following a break up. One of the most rewarding activities I can recommend is yoga. While yoga is an incredible work out for your body, it’s also an exercise for your mind and inner self. Surrounding yourself with calmness and other people seeking fulfillment and serenity will help you achieve those goals as well. Try doing one thing a day that you love, big or small. Everyone is different so for some it might be time with loved ones and others it might be going for a long bike ride or eating your lunch away from your desk and out in the park. This will help you on your journey to achieving your “new” normal.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Be More Authentic in Every Aspect of Life

A well-known poet, E.E. Cummings, once wrote, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” To truly live as your truest, most honest and most authentic self does take courage. It’s easy to fall in line with the pack, to just go with the flow and compromise to satisfy others. To stand behind each and every one of your thoughts and actions can feel more difficult. Living an inauthentic life, however, rarely leads to happiness. If you feel that you are ready (and needing) to make a change in the way you interact with others as well as yourself, please keep reading. Once you have made the decision to stop molding your thoughts and actions after those of the people around you, and to allow your authentic self to shine, nothing is more important than consistency and repetition. It will take practice to avoid exchanging your true feelings for the feeling you think you should feel based on others’ opinions, so you must be ready to fully commit for this to work. If you do, I promise that you will feel a level of happiness, self-assuredness and purposefulness that you never imagined was possible.

Now that you’ve committed to making this important (and rewarding!) change, it’s time to take action. The top six steps to living more authentically in every aspect of life are:

1. Practice Self-Awareness and Forgiveness

Gaiam Life blog describes so well the value of self-awareness in living an authentic life. It says, “Authenticity starts when you set the intention to be genuine. Then, there must be an awareness of what that looks and feels like, and a willingness to act in accordance with your genuine nature even when it feels vulnerable.” Having the ability to recognize inauthenticity in yourself, and to acknowledge that the way you life your life directly impacts your happiness with that life, requires a level of self-awareness that many people refuse to allow themselves to experience.

Forgiveness, in my opinion, comes hand-in-hand with self-awareness. Recognizing fault in yourself, or even just a need for change, can leave you feeling crummy. You may feel that you’ve lived an inauthentic life for too many years and regret not having put in effort to change earlier. It’s okay to feel that way. Forgive yourself and move forward. Many, if not most, people go their entire lives playing different roles in different situations – never actually allowing their true selves shine. The fact that you’re seeking greater authenticity, at any point in life, should be celebrated. :)

2. Re-Evaluate (and Redefine) Your Values

In order to live more authentically and to ensure that every action you take works towards celebrating your true inner self, and achieving happiness, you need to take a serious look at your values. What did, or does, your “inauthentic” self value? Maybe it’s money. Perhaps it’s brand name clothing or the envy of friends. Is it your name on the door of a corner office? Or, is it the love and affection of people you’ve never even met? Ask yourself why these things matter. Challenge yourself to re-evaluate your former values and decide which, if any, belong in your new authentic life.

Once you’ve done this, ask yourself what you truly value. Is it the love of your significant other? A feeling of self-fulfillment?  The ability and means to travel? Chances are, your “new” values may very well be connected to your former values. The difference you’ll likely find, however, is in the way you describe the values and the aspect of the value that now matters most to you. What financial success would enable you to do, for example, will likely become more important than financial success in and of itself.

3. Catch Yourself and Grow

Just like quitting smoking, cutting back on salt or sticking to an exercise regime – living a more authentic life is nearly impossible to do “cold turkey.” Rather, it takes time and plenty of practice. When you feel yourself doing or saying something inauthentic, note the situation and circumstances. This will allow you to better catch yourself the next time and may even show you a pattern you were unaware of before. For example, do you feel the need to play a certain role with a certain person? If so, there’s likely a reason that particular individual brings out your inauthentic self. You may find the need to work out differences with family or friends or to seek new friendships in your life altogether.

4. Seek Genuine Company

It’s often said that you are the sum of those with which you surround yourself – or at least the average. Once you’ve made the conscious decision to seek authenticity in all aspects of your life, it’s important to surround yourself with people who genuinely want to see you succeed. If your friends or coworkers leave you feeling jealous, down or tempted to shift to inauthenticity, you may no longer feel that those people serve your mission of genuine, authentic happiness. It can be incredibly difficult to evaluate your current relationships and make a decision to seek new company, but sometimes it’s necessary to move forward in your “new” version of life.

When seeking new friendships and relationships, look to people who have similar values to those that you set in Step 2. Seek self-aware, caring and authentic people. Finding truly exceptional relationships can take time, and it may feel that there are a limited number of people who share your values, but I assure you that the effort will be worth it.

5. Create a Daily Practice

Living authentically, in and of itself, is a daily practice. In all honesty, it’s a moment-by-moment movement. To rejuvenate your mind, body and soul, it can be helpful to establish a daily practice or ritual. The condition of your body affects that of your mind. Your ability to get a good night’s sleep affects your mind. Living authentically takes strength. It takes a clear conscious and refreshed state of being. Consider taking up yoga, meditation or another activity you feel calms and refreshes you. Having a ritual or practice to look forward to, each and every day, allows you to check in with yourself and evaluate your progress. After all, authentic living is a process and movement with no finite finish.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Live Healthier, Both Inside and Out

One of the current largest topics of discussion is that of healthy living and how to live healthier. Talk of organic lifestyles, holistic health choices and detoxifying our lives is everywhere. But, is there any truth to it all? Can you really live healthier simply by making the choice… and without spending a fortune? Friends, the answer is yes. In early May, I'll be taking part in an a reinvigorating, exciting and soul-filled series called “Detox Your Life and Step Into Your Purpose.” I’m a firm believer that everyone holds the power, and the choice, to make strides towards healthier living. Whether it’s the breakfast you eat before you start your day or the people you choose to surround yourself with – you truly do have control. In this series I shared my philosophies and advice, and that’s why I’d like to speak a bit more on the subject in this post.

At the core of it all, it comes down to making the conscious decision to live in the now and invite positivity, healthiness and love into your life. For many people, however, it can be difficult to find where to start. Don’t feel alone if you’re one of those people. I’m here to support you!

So, let’s discuss a few ways that you can start living a healthier life today.

1. Stop Worrying

At times it can feel like the world is crumbling around you. You might be in an argument with a friend or family member. Maybe your career isn’t where you’d hoped it would be by now or a new business venture is on rocky ground. Worry can be overwhelming and can, quite honestly, overtake your life. In order to make room for healthiness and positivity, you need to push worry out of the way.

Accepting the things that are beyond your control and allowing yourself to focus on only the things you can change is one way to do this. Regularly reminding yourself to stop and appreciate what you do have is another. Thirdly, take a moment to look around and ask yourself if your worst fears are really coming to life. Chances are that they’re not, and that you’re worried about things that will probably never happen. Let it go, friend!

2. Focus on the Now

As a people, we are so busy planning for the future and reflecting on the past that the “right now” passes us right by. You know how people often say “time flies!” or how you can hardly believe it’s already May when it feels like it was New Year’s just yesterday? This sort of loss of time can be blamed on not allowing yourself to live in the moment. You plan for the future so much that, when the future arrives, you can hardly believe it. Break away from all of that and allow your mind and body to celebrate the amazing things that are happening in your life this very moment. You are alive. You have many accomplishments. You are going to continue to achieve great things in both love and life.

3. Be Mindful of Your Food

One major culprit of sluggishness, tiredness and unexpected weight gain is “mindless eating.” This sort of eating happens when you’re watching TV or on the computer and what you’re eating becomes secondary to what you’re doing. Sometimes, you’re not even really hungry – you’re just bored. I encourage you to be more mindful of what you put into your body in the coming days and weeks. Your food is your fuel!

Try switching out Toaster Strudels for a green smoothie in the morning or packing a salad and snacks instead of zipping through the drive through over lunch hour. Nourishing your body with healthy, nutritious food will in turn nourish your mind.

4. Reward Your Body with Exercise

While exercise may be the last thing you equate with “reward,” your body craves being in motion. When you allow yourself to become sedentary for too long a time, your body doesn’t really know what to do with itself. You may gain wait, feel more tired more often or just simply feel “not like yourself.” Give your body what it wants and get it movin’.

If you haven’t tried yoga before, I would highly recommend checking out a yoga class. Start with something basic and for beginners so as to not overwhelm or hurt yourself, but pay close attention to the instructor and ask for assistance if ever you’re unsure of a pose or stretch. A gentle, calming exercise like yoga will do more for your body than you might expect. Some benefits include calming, improvement in posture, deeper sleeps and even increase in happiness.

5. Praise Yourself and Others

Lastly, try not to be so hard on yourself. Getting down on yourself about skipping the gym or enjoying a chocolate bar can be all it takes to send you back to the beginning. Becoming healthier, and making any life change really, happens in stages and steps. It’s not an overnight transformation and, chances are, you might have a slip up or two. But that’s okay. We’re all only human and I’ll be here for you when you need some encouragement. Give me a follow on Twitter or Instagram so we can stay in touch.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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How to Stop Feeling Self-Conscious Around New People

Every relationship you’ve ever had, and have, started by you meeting someone new. Maybe it was in your childhood. Perhaps it was during college. It could even have been last year when you started a new job. But, at the end of the day, all of the people you “know” began as people you didn’t. As we grow older, however, we tend to find it more and more difficult to meet new people. You may find yourself becoming more self-conscious in social situations or even experience anxiety in a new environment. While this is normal and you’re not alone – it can lead you to miss out on amazing new friendships and opportunities. If you find yourself routinely tempted to turn down social invitations or the thought of walking up to someone new and introducing yourself gives you shivers, then I hope this post can help you. I want to challenge you to shed your insecurities, check your self-conscious thoughts at the door and experience a fuller life. Keep reading!

1. Remember It’s All in Your Head

This is probably the hardest step to master because this is where the self-conscious thoughts and behavior all begin – in your head. But, if you can regularly remind yourself that it really is “all in your head,” you’re going to find new situations and new people a whole lot more exciting.

When you walk into a room or are meeting someone, it’s natural for the other person (or people) to look at you. But, I assure you that they’re not staring you down like you may feel they are! Anything you are self conscious about, it often is only you who notices. The people around you have so many other stimuli and most of the time they are absorbed in thinking about their own insecurities!

I find that people tend to feel most insecure or self-conscious about their appearance and/or accomplishments when first meeting someone new. They tend to feel the other person has done more with their life, looks better or has more money. It’s so important to remember that, in thinking these negative thoughts and drawing such immediate conclusions, you’re hurting your chance at a new friendship or relationship right off the bat. Keep in mind that everyone experiences insecurities and that, while you’re thinking these things in your head, and as I said, the other person is likely thinking almost the same about themselves.

2.Pinpoint Your Self-Consciousness

Knowing what causes your self-consciousness is a crucial step in conquering it. Take a moment to reflect on the last time you met someone new. Whatexactly was it that made you feel insecure or self-conscious? Was it what you were wearing? Was it something you said… or didn’t say? Was it what you were talking about? Being able to narrow down and isolate what causes you to feel self-conscious will help you avoid the feeling in the future.

For instance, if you weren’t feeling your best because of what you were wearing – consider donating that item of clothing and buying something new in which you feel amazing. If it was the topic of conversation, steer clear of that subject in the future… or brush up on it so you’re better prepared next time around. Do whatever you can to leverage your history of self-consciousness to defeat the feeling the next time around.

3. Practice Putting Yourself Out There

It always takes a little bit of time to get back into the swing of things – no matter what the thing might be! If you haven’t been in social situations or within an environment where you regularly meet lots of new people, it’s natural to feel a bit out of place. Should this be the case for you, I suggest you remember the adage, “practice makes perfect.”

To get more comfortable interacting with new people, whether it is a new networking connection or first date, you need to start meeting new people more often. While that might sound scary at first, I promise that you’re more than capable. Remember way back when you were just a child and regularly met other kids and made new friends? It all comes down to bonding over a similar interest, environment or opportunity.

If chatting up the person next to you on your morning commutes sounds too daunting, consider signing up for a social painting class or joining a recreational sports team. You’ll quickly be tempted to leave your self-conscious shell behind and realize just how easy it is to meet new people – and just how interested other people are in meeting you.

4. Conjure Confidence by Strengthening Your Self Love

Negative thinking is one of the biggest causes of self-consciousness. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What do you think of yourself? Your answers to these questions drastically impact how you believe others perceive you too. I want to challenge you to look in the mirror at least once, every single day, and strengthen your self-love by complimenting yourself.

When you allow yourself to recognize the amazing in yourself, you’ll begin to conjure confidence that will stick with you throughout the day. You’ll walk into rooms with your head held higher, your back straighter and a more authentic smile on your face. When you feel more confidence, you’ll also find itthat much easier to meet new people and start up great conversations. To continue to strengthen your self-love, I encourage you to read another post I wrote about just that. Click here to read that one now!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Why Gender Intelligence Needs to Replace Gender Stereotypes… Now

If I asked you to think of a common stereotype about females, I’m sure you could think of something in less than 10 seconds. The same can easily be said about stereotypes surrounding males. From a young age, harmful and relationship-impacting gender stereotypes are engrained into our minds and daily lives. Now, I do want to say that I see value in understanding the sexes separately. But more than that, I see incredible value (and so should you!) in understanding how they work together. This sort of genuine understanding of gender strengths and challenges is called Gender Intelligence… and dear friends; this is something the world needs so much more of. Whether it’s in the workplace, within a family dynamic or within a relationship – gender intelligence can help you better empathize, understand and grow. In this post I want to share with you three examples of why gender intelligence needs to replace gender stereotypes, as well as how it’s possible. Please, friends, read on!

Gender Stereotype #1: Females Live Their Lives Believing the Men Around Them Simply Don’t Listen

Romantic comedies and stories between friends alike constantly perpetuate this gender stereotype. Men are just “grown children” or “are incapable of listening”, right? Wrong. The truth is that how men listen differs from how women listen, and that in actuality they listen just as often but in that different way.

While women explore feelings and soak in the conversation in its entirety, men tend to listen to what they consider the most important points with the aim to develop their opinion. Men also tend to listen and speak more literally, whereas women tend to infer and speak more hypothetically, rhetorically and metaphorically.

Gender Stereotype #2: Men are Too Confident and Women Lack Self-Confidence

Think of the last time you expressed your opinion. Did you preface your statement by saying, “I am pretty sure” and did you possibly end it with, “But I’m not certain” or a similar statement? If you’re female, the likelihood is higher. This is because females tend to want to remain non-confrontational, even subconsciously, to foster a feeling of togetherness and safety. We don't set out to do this, but it's in our DNA to "keep the peace" when we are in our feminine. This is a good time to mention that women spend varying amounts of time in their masculine side vs. their feminine side. When men hear these types of statements, they can assume that the female lacks confidence or is not self-assured because if a man were to say those words, that's what they would think.

The reality is men tend to speak in more unilateral, literal and concise terms and females tend to maintain a group mentality. Both methods of communication are equally valuable. It’s important, however, to understand why females and males communicate differently in order to avoid confusion, hurt feelings and to really hear the conversation for what it is rather than how it’s being said.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Are You Committing These Life Coach No-No’s At Work?

As a life coach, I often speak with my clients about achieving happiness, finding love and living a life of authenticity. Naturally, a topic that comes up quite often is that of work. For the majority of us, work is a large part of our lives. How we spend our time at the office, whether that office is away from the home or at it, impacts all other areas of our lives. If you’re looking to make the most out of all aspects of your life, including the hours spent at the office, I encourage you to read through the following list and recognize whether or not you may be committing any of these life coach no-nos. If you are, I challenge you to break the habit and begin taking strides towards greater happiness.

Not Knowing When to Ask for Help

Today’s society constantly tells people to strive for perfection. Be the most beautiful you can be. Be the smartest. Never show weakness. Never ask for help. But, in reality, life would be pretty darn miserable if we all chose to live that way – not to mention lonely! Knowing when to ask for help or when a task is beyond your immediate abilities is not only not a sign of weakness; it’s actually a sign of capability and leadership that many employers look for in employees.

When you feel you could use clarification, benefit from a helping hand or simply can’t take on additional workload – speak up. You are not only doing yourself a disservice, but are also doing a disservice to your teammates, when you live in fear of asking for help.

Not Taking Credit For Your Work

You work hard to produce high quality work and bring good ideas to the table. When you brush off your abilities or downplay your contribution, you are showing the outside world that you don’t value your contribution; and if you don’t value what you bring to the table, why should your employer or team?

Allow yourself to take credit for the work you have done. When you share a report in a meeting, use language that demonstrates you have put time and effort into creating the report. When sharing an opinion or idea, use language like “I believe I have an idea” instead of “Maybe this would work”. On the flipside, I encourage you to always own your mistakes. Accountability for both negative and positive situations is necessary for the successful running of a healthy team and will help you become the best person you can be, not only between the hours of 9-5.

Not Voicing Your Opinion

Your skills, background and mind are all reasons you were hired, so I urge you to not forget the value you bring to the table! Your opinions and ideas are valuable, so when you sit quietly through meetings or offer to take meeting minutes instead of remain an active participant in a discussion, you’re holding back.

The next time your Manager asks for your thoughts on a matter, take a moment to collect them and then share what you think. When people ask for your opinion or thoughts, they typically aren’t asking to simply be polite. They value and appreciate your mind and skills and authentically want to receive a response.

Not Praising Your Coworkers

Many workplaces foster a culture of competition. While competition can be great to encourage you to continue growing, regularly strive for higher goals and produce high results consistently – it can also make you feel like it’s you against your teammates. By allowing yourself to feel as though you’re “in it for yourself” or it’s “you against the world”, you miss out on crucial opportunities to strengthen your team, your place within the company and you end up experiencing more negative thoughts.

The next time your coworker receives recognition for a job well done, offer your sincere and authentic praise. Take a moment to thank your coworker for his or her contribution to the team and let them know that they are appreciated by you. When you remind yourself to show appreciation to others and celebrate their wins, you become a better person yourself. Plus, others will take notice of your praise and begin delivering their own – a smile is contagious and all.

Not Praising Yourself

Lastly, I want you to stop forgetting about praising yourself. Yes, you should feel grateful to have a job that allows you to support yourself when so many struggle to make ends meet. But you’ve also earned your position through hard work, dedication and the ability to produce quality ideas. In between practicing gratitude towards others, I urge you to recognize your own accomplishments, strengths and triumphs.

Praising yourself can be as easy as saying a self-affirming statement such as, “You are confident, capable and have worked hard to be where you are.” It could also be allowing yourself to swing by the grocery store and pick up your favourite dessert as a special treat. Or, it could be treating yourself to a quiet, relaxing spa day. However you choose to celebrate yourself, be sure to thoroughly enjoy it and thank yourself for the gift.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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6 Ways to Practice Gratitude and Authenticity That Can Change Your Life

Adopting a grateful and authentic mentality has become an incredibly hot topic over the last few years. While I’m thrilled that the benefits of authentic, grateful living have been so widely communicated as of late, I do want to drive home that the benefits of practicing gratitude are not a passing fad. The benefits are real and I want to help you discover them for yourself. :) The art of practicing gratitude needs to take place in your everyday life, towards others as well as towards yourself. To help you explore ways to practice gratitude on a daily basis, I’m sharing my top six ways to incorporate the practice, starting today:

1. Pencil It In

There’s a lot to be said for putting something onto paper, whether it be pencil or ink. To help you begin practicing gratitude every single day, I encourage you to purchase a wall calendar (or print one) and commit to writing three reasons you are grateful every single day. Write your reasons directly onto the calendar, whether it be in the morning before you begin your day or before you go to sleep at night.

2. Picture Everything as a Present

Instead of seeing your morning cup of coffee as your cup of coffee, picture it as a gift. You are so lucky to be in your home filled with warmth enjoying a delicious drink to start the day. Instead of criticizing your clothes dryer for taking so long, see the fact that you are even able to dry your clothes at your leisure as a gift! More people go without the daily luxuries than the many people who enjoy them, yet we forget to be grateful for them.

3. Praise Others in an Authentic, Meaningful Way

When’s the last time you took a moment to truly appreciate the actions of someone else? Taking time, even a minute, out of your day to look to someone in your life and praise him or her will make you a happier person. Committing to identifying the strengths in others and praising those individuals will strengthen your relationships and allow you to appreciate yourself on a stronger, higher level as well.

4. Set (Attainable) Goals and Achieve Them

When you feel like you’re pushing forward in an endless cycle, life can get discouraging. Goals and benchmarks are hugely important in living a well-balanced, fulfilling life. Set attainable goals for yourself and work towards them in everything you do. Perhaps your goal is to visit with your mother at least twice a month. Maybe your goal is to provide thanks to at least one co-worker daily. Whatever you decide, ensure that everything you do throughout your day or week or month is helping to fulfill your goal. When you accomplish your goal, allow yourself to be grateful for the work you’ve put in and for the commitment you were able to keep.

5. Spend Five Minutes in Silence

Spend five minutes in total silence and give yourself a moment to experience being alive. Give thanks to your lungs for giving you the gift of breath. Give thanks to your heart for giving you the gift of life. Give thanks to your brain for giving you the gift of memories, imagination and dreams. When you take time to look inside of yourself and allow yourself to be grateful for what you have on the most basic of levels, your outlook on life can drastically improve.

6. Donate Your Time (or Money) to a Cause You Believe In

We don’t have to be the rich to give back. If you have an afternoon to spare, consider donating your time to a cause you believe in and that is in need of your help. If you love animals, consider calling your local animal shelter and asking how you can help. If you live near a senior’s center, consider donating your time to read to residents who go long stretches without family visits. You have the ability to not only change your life, but to change the lives of others for better too.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Life Coach Advice: Avoid These 4 Self-Sabotaging Habits

There’s a time old adage that teaches that happiness begins within. While it may seem at times that finding happiness in the right now is impossible, I can’t stress enough how much control you truly have in your own emotional well-being, in the path your life takes and in your experiencing of true joy. To help you achieve joy and happiness, I want to share my list of four self-sabotaging habits you need to stop now. One of my greatest joys as a life coach is seeing first-hand how my clients are able to effectively change their outlooks on life, personal happiness and achieve success. I won’t say that it’s an instant change, because it’s not. But, it’s a change that is entirely possible and that I believe that you, too, can make.

Avoid Autopilot Behaviour

What do I mean by this? Well, there are many behaviours that can easily achieve autopilot status under the right (or, in this case, wrong) circumstances. Some examples are mindless eating, binge watching television, losing hours to vying over your ex boyfriend’s recent trip with his new girlfriend… these are all examples of actions or behaviour that happen without a deliberate intention. They just get into autopilot.

Allowing yourself to carry on a life in which you regularly simply tune out and allow yourself to engage in autopilot behaviours can have a negative, direct impact on your happiness. It’s so incredibly important to be aware of this "brain habit" and consciously catch yourself. This way you can, in the moment, choose different thoughts.

When you allow your life and your mind to be filled up to the rim with unintentional thoughts and actions, you end up without any room for positive intentions. A life filled with deliberate, thought-out and intentional actions will ultimately lead to a much more fulfilling and happy day-to-day.

Avoid Criticizing Yourself

Believe me when I say that everyone experiences self-criticism, just simply of varying degrees. At the end of the day, we are all only human. With that being said, regular self-criticizing behaviour can have major negative impacts on your self-esteem, self-confidence, outlook on life and happiness.

When you feel yourself beginning to pick yourself apart, take a moment to breathe. It’s imperative that you follow that breath with a self-affirming statement. For example, not feeling beautiful today? Remind yourself that you are special (and gorgeous) in your own unique skin. Feeling down because a presentation you delivered at work didn’t go as well as you hoped? Remind yourself that you are capable, intelligent and will rock the next presentation twice as hard.

Avoid Isolation

When you’re feeling down, it can be tempting to throw on the sweats and retreat to a weekend filled with Netflix, delivery food and just about nothing else. Allowing yourself to remain in isolation, particularly when you’re feeling especially down, can have more negative impacts than healing ones. While “me” time can be very fulfilling and productive, the difference between that and “isolation” really comes down to purpose.

The next time you’re tempted to cancel on friends with plans or decline an event invitation, ask yourself if you truly intend to spend the time working towards greater self fulfillment or if there is now a larger likelihood you will feel worse through isolating yourself. Again, I fully believe in recharging by spending time alone but we just have to be careful of when and how we do it.

Avoid Putting Everyone Before Yourself

Have you ever been called a “people pleaser” or thought of yourself a “yes man” or “yes woman”? Generosity and devotion to others is not a characteristic to be ashamed of, nor is it a negative. However, if you regularly put everyone else ahead of yourself to the point that your own needs and wants are not being met – chances are that you’re not as happy as you could be.

Spending time focused on working towards your own happiness will result in a lift in happiness of those around you. Everyone wins when you put your own happiness as value numero uno. This joy has influence and will emanate to those around you.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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