My open-hearted tribute to the passing of my beloved David Bridgland

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It was June 2011 that David and I first laid eyes on each other. I was hosting an event at the wine bar he worked at. His beaming smile greeted me as I walked up the entrance stairs. He let me know everything was being taken care of and I felt so welcome. As the event began, so did the flirtations between David and I. He honestly knocked it out of the park with his first line, asking: "Are you related to the (name) sisters? And when I shook my head no, he said "oh, because they are drop dead gorgeous too."

I put my head on this comforting strangers shoulder and as he puts it, "nuzzled" him after his winning opening line.

When the event ended, I enjoyed a glass of wine at the bar and was preparing to leave. That's when I heard my heart speaking to me, "just stay, just stay where you are". I listened and David soon appeared again with a big flirtatious smile. We both knew that was the beginning of our beautiful 2 year, 3 month love story.

David shared with me his dreams of all the things he wanted to do and change in his life and I supported all of them. This was the beginning of our adventures together and over the coming years, we traveled to England, we drove across Canada, we hiked to the top of many mountains, he took up long-distance biking and we cheered each other the whole way. We developed a beautiful, loving partnership.

In August, 2013 David's health took a turn. He had suffered from seizures now and again since he was young but since they were relatively rare, he was never really treated as someone who had Epilepsy. His seizures suddenly started to become more frequent and so for most of August we were in and out of the hospital trying to find the perfect medication combination for him. On Sept. 9th, 2013, while in hospital, David's heart and brain stopped speaking to each other and he passed on.

In that moment, my life changed forever In that moment, my best friend was gone, my lover was gone and my future husband was gone.

The months that followed were incredibly difficult, confusing and emotional. I was grateful to be surrounded by friends and family and a very helpful grief therapist. I placed no expectations on myself for how or how long I was going to unplug from the world. Those I was coaching at the time were incredibly understanding of my need to pause on future sessions. I did my best to get through the days and as bits of strength returned to my body, I would take myself to a yoga class at the end of my street.

In February 2014, I started to contemplate what my future might hold and it began with a trip to Sedona, Arizona to be in the sun and get to the root of what I truly wanted in my life. I was now in a place where I understood, at my very core how precious life is and if you are not leading a truly authentic life, then what are you doing?

David was a very authentic person and always the first to tell anyone who inquired to be true to themselves and follow their dreams. He encouraged this in others and lived this way himself, always fully transparent.

My desire to just be myself in all areas of my life caused me to realize that my current brand I created 7 years ago, "YourDateCoach" was no longer me. I'm a very literal person so when I was questioned about who I have become, I uttered the words:

I am all about Living and Loving Authentically

There is nothing more important to me than living my truth and encouraging others to do the same. It's a theme that has existed in my life for a long time but rarely shared under the YourDateCoach brand. That will no longer be the case. In the coming months and years, you can expect to be inspired and learn about love, relationships, healthy living, travel, music and more. I hope you will continue on this journey with me and continue to let me know the areas you want help with. I want this to be a journey we share together.

One theory about those in heaven is that their only wish for us is to find our joy. I picture David encouraging me to find joy again and I sometimes feel him nudging me along the way. Although finding joy is not always easy, I know for me and for those I will guide the direct route to more joy is by Living and Loving Authentically. There is such freedom in authenticity which is why I feel so strongly about it.

My plan is to continue to send you valuable content on a weekly basis and create opportunities for you to share with others through my growing blog. And for those of you who would like to work with me privately and take their life and/or love-life to a whole new level of authenticity, I will be taking on up to 6 truly committed clients on a monthly basis. Email me for details. I started coaching again this past March and the clarity and focus I bring to our calls has helped clients make big leaps and changes in their lives.

As for my website, it will continue to evolve and YourDateCoach will slowly be phased out.

Until the next time we connect, I want to share with you a quote I've had posted on my computer for quite sometime, by Everett Ruess:

Always I want to live more intensely and richly. Why muck and conceal one's true longings and loves, when by speaking of them one might find someone to understand them, and by acting on them one might discover oneself.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
Click Here to Get Your FREE DATE COACH STARTER KIT!

Do You Have The Right Dating “Vibe”?

I’ve been coaching single women for over 12 years and there are two traits that tend to come up quite often. Either a woman is having trouble dating because she comes across as Desperate or she comes across as Detached. The right dating "vibe" is imperative to attracting the kind of guy that you're looking for. First, let’s talk about coming across as Desperate. It’s easy to think of someone you know that gives off that vibe but what about yourself? Think back on your dating history and ask yourself if there are times you may have come across as an el desperado? (Don’t make yourself feel bad though – just observe) Did you panic if a guy didn’t call you back? Did you call the phone company to see if there was something wrong with your phone? Did you take huge offense if the guy you’re dating heads to the baseball game with his buddies and doesn’t take you?

When men speak to me about women who they have met who come across as desperate, they have said things like:

“Well I asked for her phone number and then she was asking me all these questions about when I was going to call and if I needed a back up number and that if she doesn’t pick up to leave a message” You may be familiar with that scene from the movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You”

Guys pick up on this desperate vibe and it’s a huge turn-off so don’t underestimate it. It’s definitely an area that you cannot outsmart men in – they smell the desperado vibe from across the room. (Just like women pick up on it with men)

Having a Detached vibe is something entirely different.

Many women I have coached came to me with a bit of a flippant attitude about dating and men. They complained that no men ever approached them. I sensed right away that they didn’t exhibit any intrigue. It wasn’t that these women were not totally interesting with really cool lives, but they had developed this huge wall around them that pushed men away. They thought they were engaged in meeting men but they weren’t. I would sometimes see this at my speed-dating events years ago where women would make the effort to sign up for an event, get dressed up and then once they arrived they gave off a vibe that they could care less if they met anyone.

I’m here to say that it is not a sign of weakness to show in a warm and somewhat subtle way that you are open to meeting someone to date. It’s okay! Being detached will only create stress and cause you to miss so many opportunities to meet men that you are presented with.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
Click Here to Get Your FREE DATE COACH STARTER KIT!

When We say Dress to Impress, We Don't Mean for Him

A tiny bit more care in appearance can have a huge impact in your dating life. The reason is that your body language and confidence changes when you wear clothes you feel more attractive in. This in turn increases your approachability because you are smiling more. Read on to learn about the importance of "dress to impress" when dating. You should dress however you want BUT not if it's in defiance. If you truly and authentically feel super confident and beautiful when you leave your home than wear THAT EXACT OUTFIT! It's when women start dressing in defiance, and almost dare men to be attracted despite not taking care of themselves that I have a problem with. The reverse would be if a guy just said I'm going to only wear my big grey sweatpants and bad tshirts all the time and then get mad that women don't think I'm attractive. Each gender needs to give a little BUT don't dress for the opposite sex, dress to make yourself feel good.

There is a potential theory dressing in certain ways  can make women less-approachable. Specifically, high-fashion, man-repelling outfits can cause a man to think "how am I going to handle that?". However, the problem is women forget the most important accessory, a Smile! Go for the high-fashion stuff if you are still being a considerate, approachable woman. What I know for sure is that men are attracted to femininity. However, femininity exists in many forms. For some men, it's the MadMen look, for other men, it's the summer dress, still for others it's Lulu's on a Saturday. Feminine beauty in it's truest form is very calming and soothing to men because they take in such an enormous amount of information visually. I've actually heard men say, "of all the beauties in the world, be it lakes, mountains, sunsets, nothing beats the female form". Whenever men describe who they are looking for to me, there is always an element of wanting a feminine woman to balance out their masculine ways. But again, for some men it exists in the wacky ensemble form so if you feel beautiful in that, do it.

Men also have the challenge of presenting themselves with the clothes they choose as well. What I've recommended to a lot of men is to call ahead to a particular store and book an appointment with an in-store stylist that will help them learn the difference between what looks okay and what looks amazing. To see a man come out of the change room in something that he feels amazing in is just fantastic. His entire body language changes. Also, to men, remember that women are easily grossed out so pay more attention to basic grooming. We love the fresh shower smell and clean breath. Figure what you can do (ie, breath spray and deoderant in your bag) if you're in a rush before meeting up with a girl.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
Click Here to Get Your FREE DATE COACH STARTER KIT!

Winning At Online Dating With A Photo

If you are single and looking, online dating needs to be part of your repertoire. In North America alone, there are more than 50 million singles registered with online dating sites, making tech-romance an integral part of today’s culture.

When working with date coaching clients, the first thing I assess on their profile is their photo. They must receive an ‘A’ Grade or we can’t move forward. Yup, it’s THAT important.

Here are my recommendations on ensuring an ‘A’ Grade on your photo: 1. Go through all of your photos that have been taken within the last year. 2. Create a folder in your documents entitled, “ME FAVORITES”. 3. Put any photo of yourself in there that you like. Make sure they are just photos of you and no one else. There are some exceptions if you can cleanly cut out a friend who is standing next to you but you don’t want a picture of you with a random body-less arm around your shoulders. 4. If you don’t currently have photos of yourself, put a call out to friends or family members who might have photos of you on their camera. 5. If you have a Facebook profile, double check it to see if there are any good photos that might have been tagged of you. 6. Get every last picture you find organized into your “ME FAVORITES” folder.

Still no photos of yourself that you like? Book a time with a friend, family member or co-worker. Maybe there is someone in your network who has always been good at taking photos. If you still can’t think of anyone, go onto Craigslist and peruse the ads for photographers looking to build portfolios. You may even get a free session. With this said though: do-not-sign-up-for-a-cheesy-portrait-session. For the fun photo session, here are the tips: 1. Get dressed up in your favorite outfits and experiment with a few different looks. Try sassy, serious, fun, and approachable. Don’t be over the top with your poses. A great smile is most attractive. 2. Your aim is to get two good pictures, one a close up of your face and one a full body shot. It may take 60 digital photos before you find one you like, but make sure the one you select is a fair representation of who you really are. 3. Avoid wearing black. Wear red or have it in the background. This will really help your photo stand out. 4. Try various settings and lighting until you think you’ve really got it. 5. A good way to get a full body shot is to have your friend stand on a stool slightly above you so that you can look up toward the camera. Don’t look down; this isn’t flattering for anyone. 6. If you need to add a 3rd photo, make it an action shot of you hiking or biking or engaging in some activity outside of posing. 7. Please don’t use a webcam. 8. Don’t crop or scribble people out of your photos 9. Ladies, try not to pose with a baby in an effort to show how great of a mother you’d be (or are). That goes for you too guys, no posing with babies. 10. One last thing: Ladies, if you pose “pouty” or sexy, don’t get mad when men contact you just for sex. Men are only responding to your photo so be accountable for that.

Overall, you want your photo to be warm and inviting and show the authentic you. Don’t try to look like someone you’re not or don’t only post photos of you looking your absolute best.

And remember, our ultimate goal is to transfer you from online to offline dating.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
Click Here to Get Your FREE DATE COACH STARTER KIT!