How to Attract Men & Understand How to Harness the Power

Have you ever wondered why some women just seem to know how to attract men? Why it seems so easy and effortless for them, and why men just love being around them? It’s really not all that complicated to figure out what attracts men. You just need to know a little bit about the difference between masculine and feminine energy.

Just like a magnet requires both a positive and a negative polarity, in order to attract men, a woman needs to be able to provide what a man is missing. That missing thing that every man needs is feminine energy, and lucky for you, as a woman you have that in ample supply.

All women do.

In today’s world the distinction between masculine and feminine energy has become a lot less clear though. Our roles in society have changed considerably from even just 50 years ago.

Think about the classic Leave It To Beaver stereotype from the 50’s with June Cleaver, the queen of domestic bliss being the symbol of what it meant to be a woman. In that model, what attracted a man was a woman at home cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the home front while he went off to work.

We've come a long way since then and while June Cleaver may not seem very sexy or appealing to you as a woman, she did embody feminine energy in a lot of ways and it is worth looking at. To start with, she allowed herself to be taken care of by Ward, her husband. I don’t just mean financially either, she allowed him to be in control of various things when she’d say things like, ‘ Whatever you think is best Ward.’

By differing to him to "just take care of some decisions", she conveyed her trust in his judgment of the situation and allowed herself to be vulnerable enough to know that he would not do anything intentionally to hurt her or the boys. By being vulnerable, she could spend more time in her feminine, knowing that things were being taken care of. In no way was she unable to make the exact same decisions but the complaint I get from so many women unfortunately is, "I wish he would just take care of it so that I don't have to do everything!"

Now contrast that relationship of 50 years ago with one of today. So many of us women are building careers and being powerful in our work life and too often, this “take charge” attitude seeps into our relationships. We end up managing both home and work life with little room for femininity. We don't mean to and in our quiet moments, we often wish we could just defer to someone to "handle it". We truly want to rock that boardroom but be able to come home and be swept up by our man.

Think about how you go through your day and notice what you’re energy feels like when you’re working. Does it feel the same or different as when you are around men in a romantic context?

For many of us, we spend our time striving to attain goals or meet deadlines and when the workday ends we forgot to stop striving. So we go out on a date or we go home to our husbands and we’re still in strive mode.

What really attracts men is to be in swept up by your feminine energy.

He’s spent all day dealing with other men and being in his masculine energy, and he wants nothing more than to experience the refreshing change of scenery that being with you in your relaxed, colorful feminine energy provides. And the good news for you is that allowing yourself to step into your femininity is one hundred times more relaxing than trying to relax in your masculine energy.

Try this little experiment to see what I mean and watch what happens.

The next time you’re out on a date or with your husband, just try simply listening while he shares about his day.

Ask him how his day was and then just listen. Be yourself but the key here is that you are just listening.

Now before you think this is some sort of archaic backward approach, know that it’s intention is purely a chance for you to step out of action mode and into response mode. It’s an opportunity for you to step into your femininity and also an opportunity for the man who is sharing to actually get all his thoughts out. And not to worry, you can easily reverse this by asking him to "just listen" which creates the exact same opportunity for you to step into your feminine. (something that is very important but impossible when both the man and woman are in masculine, action mode)

You want to know what attracts men?

Believe me, one of the biggest gifts you can give to a man (and yourself!) is the gift of your feminine energy. Try it and see for yourself.

Let me know how it goes!

I’d love to hear your thoughts so be sure to leave a comment below.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Men Will Not Fight For the Chance To Talk

Today's post is all about how men will not fight for the chance to talk. Before we dive right in, I'd like you to ask yourself a question. Have you ever asked a man a question such as “What do you want to eat for dinner?” or a bigger one like “Where is this relationship going?” and found yourself not only asking the question but also kinda answering it for him?

This is one of the ways that women do not know just how deep men really are. It can also become a style of communicating, if we’re not careful.

Here’s how it might look.

A woman will ask a question. If the man doesn’t answer immediately, she will rephrase the question. If the man still doesn’t answer, the woman will then again assume that the man doesn’t understand and she’ll try to be ‘helpful’ by constructing the question as a multiple choice where she ‘suggests’ the answers.

The downward spiral of miscommunication begins here.

Then the woman complains that the man is not communicative.

Here’s what I mean.

Woman: Honey, where do you want to go for dinner?

2 seconds pass

Woman: That Italian place over at the mall?

2 seconds pass

Woman: Or we could just heat up the leftovers from last night. I’ve kind of been craving it.

Man: Silent (Thinking about first question, now filtering the suggestion of whether he likes that Italian place at the mall and now contemplating if there is enough leftovers for both of them.)

Technically this is 3 questions and he is sorting through each of them and developing an opinion.

Woman: (Gets frustrated on why he hasn’t answered, not realizing it’s 3 separate questions that she kinda answered and by the way, only about 20 seconds have passed)

Man: Sensing her frustration and the feeling of “tick tock”, he might say something like, “I don’t know, you choose”.

Can we relate? So what can you do about this?

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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Making the Laws of Attraction Work for You

Depending on your experience and how you were introduced to the Laws of Attraction, you will either perk up and want to listen in or you roll your eyes when you hear the term. Many people were influenced by the film The Secret and took the Laws of Attraction to mean if you want a million dollars, you need to just envision it and it will appear. Even though this is far from the message of the Secret, it was still often interpreted this way. So when you are single, how can you incorporate the laws of attraction to attract men or attract women? You may briefly think I am going to teach some manipulative tactics but it is quite the opposite. I encourage you to work with the laws of attraction to attract your future relationship

How do you do this?

Well you need to create that feeling within yourself that you have when you are with your future partner. If you don’t know what that feeling is or it’s kind of blurry, now is the time to get super crystal clear. What you are doing is getting more familiar with what it is like to be around that person so when you meet him/her, you recognize this feeling.

I take all my coaching clients through extensive exercises around this as it is difficult to move forward with a dating plan if we aren’t crystal clear on who we are looking for. I shy away from encouraging my clients to write down exactly what he/she looks like. I want them to assume they will be attracted to their future partner and they will feel good about themselves around them. These two specific areas of focus are directly connected to feelings and not to lists on paper.

What attracts women and what attracts men are often the same thing. We are both looking for that feeling to arise where we feel good about ourselves when we are around the other. We feel attractive, we feel encouraged and we feel loved. The thing is, we don’t have to wait until we meet someone to have those feelings arise, we can practice feeling them and then just simply “recognize” them when our match appears in our life.

So for the next few weeks, I want you to play around with developing feelings within yourself that you may believe only exist within a relationship. Picture yourself with your future healthy relationship and really get in touch with what that feels like. Journal about it if you like. Meditate if that is better. Cultivate that feeling as you walk down the street of drive your car to work. Let thoughts take shape in your mind until you no longer feel you need to look at a list - all you have to do is sit quietly and focus on the attraction, encouragement and love you feel around your future partner. Then, return to that feeling as often as you like. Not only are you practicing the Laws of Attraction, you are also practicing being kinder to yourself and accessing a deeper connection with your desires.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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