5 Simple Steps to Keeping Calm & Rocking the First Date

This time of year can come with a lot of pressure – pressure to get fit, chase a dream, find love and do it all well. No stress, right? For someone jumping back into the dating game and getting ready for a first date, it can all be a little much. But, it doesn’t have to be. This post is all about keeping calm, rocking the first date and (if there’s a spark) locking down a second. 1. Know That This Date Won’t Make or Break You

In the days leading up to your first date, encourage yourself to remember that this is just a first date and the date itself, just as its outcome, isn’t going to make or break your love life. You can even say to yourself that "it's just two people getting to know each other, no pressure." It might be awesome and it might not, so why stress over what you really can’t control at this point? Get pumped, get excited but make sure you get real – it’s just one date and your world will keep on turning.

2. Know What You Want, but Maintain a Sense of Mystery

As you head into the date, know what it is that you want.  Are you seeking a great night out, riveting conversation, a short-term fling or something long-term? Knowing what you want is key to setting yourself up for success, but so is maintaining a certain sense of mystery. Heading into date night with the aim of getting married or "interviewing potential husband/wife suitors" is a surefire way to pile on pressure – not only for you but also for the other person on your date. You don't have to talk about exactly what you are looking for on the first date. That's for future dates! Stay cool, practice a little air of mystery and intrigue, and see where the night takes you.

3. Try to See the Experience itself as The Reward

Sometimes it can be easy to get wrapped up in seeing things as a great series of steps. Meet a cute guy? Check. Set up a first date? Check. Have a great time? Check. You can see how quickly one can lose sight of how each experience in and of itself is a pretty great reward. During your date, as you engage in conversation or sit in brief silence sharing a smile, allow yourself to savour the moment and appreciate that you’re having a good time. Even if you don’t feel a spark but the food is delicious and the wine is one you've never tried, try not to get too hung up on expectations and just allow yourself to have fun.

4. Celebrate yourself and all Your Efforts

When the night is over and you sit reflecting on all the things said, the feelings felt and what comes next – stop and take a moment to celebrate you and all of your efforts. You took a chance and struck up a conversation with an attractive stranger. You got dressed up, went out and allowed yourself to be vulnerable. You kept cool, had fun and shared a laugh or two. You’ve taken another step towards finding the authentic, fulfilling love that you crave and are that much closer to it. When the time comes (and it will!) where you are both deciding if a second date is something you are both interested in, I believe that less is more. Indicate during the date that you are enjoying yourself and at the end, you can genuinely say something simple like "it would be nice to see you again." You both don't need to discuss exactly what that looks like or set a calendar date, but aim to be clear of intentions. If you aren't feeling it, be clear on that as well. "It was really nice meeting you" is perfectly acceptable. Keep going my friend!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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5 Easy Steps to Navigating Uncertainty in a New Relationship

Entering into a new relationship is filled with excitement, fun and discovery. Something that many people often unexpectedly discover is that new relationships can also be filled with a whole lot of uncertainty. Whether you feel some anxiety about your new beau or simply need some guidance in navigating the uncertainty of your new relationship, I’ve got you covered my friend. Keep reading for five easy steps to kicking those feelings of uncertainty in a new relationship to the curb and getting back to the excitement and fun.

1. Know That You’re Not Alone

The thing with uncertainty in new relationships is that everybody goes through it. Chances are, even, that your new partner is experiencing the same feelings and thoughts as you.

Something you need to understand is that these feelings don’t come from a negative place. They’re a completely natural reaction to a new situation and the fact that you’re having them means that you care. Don’t let them trip you up!

With time, and with open communication, you’ll begin to feel more secure in your new partnership and the initial anxiety will fade

2. Embrace the Unknown

There’s something incredibly exciting about the unknown, and this is your chance to take any uncertainty you might be feeling and turn it into spontaneity. Take this opportunity of getting to know someone new to challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone and try things that you normally wouldn’t.

Allow your mind to wander and get away from your regular thought patterns and routine for a little while. Indoor skydiving for your next date? Maybe. A whirlwind weekend trip to the big city? Sure!

3. Find Your Pep Talk Pal

Everyone has that one person in his or her life who, no matter what the circumstances, can turn a crummy situation upside down. They recognize your best traits and forgive you for your faults. At the same time, they have a knack for holding you to a higher standard. Having this person in your life, especially during times when you might be feeling a little uncertain, is even more important.

Whether she’s your best friend from college, your sister, your co-worker or your mom, don’t hesitate to reach out to your go-to girlfriend when you need a pick me up. They know you’re amazing and just how to give you the pep talk that you need. Sometimes it is just a simple, "focus on what you do like about him, rather than all the things you are worried about", coming from a trusted friend.

Choose wisely who you go to for advice.

4. Keep Confident and Carry On

While you might find it tempting, you can’t accept your truth as the truth. If he takes a little while to text you back, don’t let your mind run wild about all the reasons you haven't heard from him right away. Distract yourself with activities that make you feel good.

There’s a saying that goes, “Fake it ‘til you make it,” and sometimes the idea really works. Even when you’re not feeling 100% confident, if you actively work to exude confidence you will likely actually find your confidence – and your confidence in your new relationship – starts to boost itself. You chose each other because you saw potential so don't be afraid to keep pursuing that potential in an active way to see where things go.

Be open minded, be aware of what makes you feel good and bad about yourself and carry on getting to know each other.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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5 Ways Your Body is Telling You It's Stressed

We all know that stress is bad for us, but we don’t always recognize when we’re feeling stressed. Our bodies are like relay towers. They’re constantly taking in information through the environment, the food we eat, and the chemicals and toxins we’re exposed to. Then our bodies translate that raw data and let us know what’s working, and what’s not working, by how we look and feel. Stress comes in many forms though, which adds to the difficulty in identifying when we’re experiencing it. Someone who is under a chronic amount of stress will exhibit more noticeable, outward signs of stress in their bodies, then someone who is experiencing stress as a result of a passing situation. The distinction being chronic versus acute stress is the latter is temporary but quite intense.

Often stress is an underlying chronic condition, contributing to a multitude of symptoms, which also has an acute element to it. For example, you may experience an underlying low level of stress in your life as a result of social anxiety. That low level stress can then be triggered by a social situation that happens each year at the same time. Every year you may find yourself preparing for the acute flare up in your anxiety that increases your stress, and takes a greater toll on you than the rest of the year.

So how do you know that you’re under stress? What can you look for to start preparing yourself before your stress becomes a chronic condition?

Here are 5 ways that your body is telling you it’s stressed.

1. Most people when they are stressed experience sleep disturbances. That doesn’t mean that it you have no trouble sleeping that you’re not also under stress, it just means that’s a good place to start looking for signs that you are. Every body responds to stress differently, some require more sleep and some less. When you’re restless and anxious you tend to have more trouble sleeping. Start to notice if there has been any change in your sleep patterns, either sleeping more or less, having trouble falling asleep, or waking up in the middle of the night unable to get back to sleep.

2. Notice what your eating habits are. Many people overeat when stressed as a way to disconnect and shut off the stress, or numb out. Others will stop eating as away to gain some sense of control over feeling not in control of the situation causing the stress, and the impact it’s having on them. Either one is possible; the key is to notice what is different than usual for you. Much like changes in your sleep patterns, you’re looking for what’s new or out of the ordinary for you. Your body may also crave different foods as a result of stress.

3. Regardless if you’re eating more or not, stress produces cortisol in the body which tends to make you put on weight around the belly. So even though you might have a loss of appetite as result of stress, you may also be carrying extra weight around the middle.

4. Cortisol also affects your immune system, big time! So when you’re stressed, you’re more likely to get sick. You’re body will have less resistance to fight off infections and will take longer to get over a cold when you are sick. Cuts and bruises will heal more slowly and will also be more susceptible to infections.

5. Stress can also present itself in the body as dull and lifeless skin, hair and eyes. Your usual shine or brightness can be become faded, much like your spirit feels. The body is expressing outwardly what is going on inside.

Commit to paying attention to the language of your body. It’s always speaking to you.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine

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