Relationships are all about balance. However, that statement is one of those things that are a whole lot easier said than done when you’re an Alpha female. In a world in which a million little signs are sent every single day telling you to be powerful, confident and in control, it can be difficult to let up on the reins and allow your inner Beta to have her turn. And, my friend, I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with being a powerful, independent woman. What it means, however, is that striking balance in your romantic relationship can be a touch more challenging. As you probably know by now, that’s the topic we’ll be tackling in today’s post. Ready? Let’s go.
1. Honour His Masculine Energy
Alpha females are powerful forces. More often than not, these leading ladies wind up being “The Boss” in many areas of their lives. While this can lead to impressive accomplishments in a career, it can create challenging tensions at home. This is, quite simply, due to the two fundamental human energies – the masculine and feminine. Most men value and appreciate a confident, self-assured female partner. That said, it’s important that your male partner be given the space and permission to express his own masculine energy and Alpha qualities. What’s more important, still, is that you honour this energy and see it not as in competition with your own abilities to lead, but as an opportunity to loosen your hold on the reigns and allow your inner Beta to enjoy a little time away from the wheel.
When your partner does take his turn steering the ship, I urge you to avoid becoming a back seat driver. Steering clear of criticism, especially amongst his friends and family, is very important. There is nothing more discouraging than being encouraged to try something new or make a decision, only to then feel ridiculed or second-guessed along the way.
2. Know there is Power in The Feminine
Did you know that feminine energy is boundlessly powerful? You have the ability to make someone feel entirely at ease, accepted and loved with only your body language. You have the distinct ability to be alluring, persuasive, inviting and communicative without saying a single word. I encourage you to avoid viewing femininity as expressing weakness. Because, frankly, females are anything but.
Instead, I ask you to view your natural feminine energy and instinct for what it is – incredible, powerful and positive. You have the fundamental ability to support, nurture and honour your partner. Your partner has the fundamental instinct to care for you, protect you and provide you comfort. If you’re having a tough day, consider leaving your “business suit” at the door and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your partner. Let him into your struggle and allow him to help make things better.
3. Nurture His Journey to Learn and Grow
As an Alpha, it may be easy to assume that you can do something better, faster or more efficiently than someone else. When it comes to your relationship with your partner, this can enter dangerous territory. While perhaps you truly are better suited to tackle a particular task, it’s important that your partner feel he has the space and permission to step up and try his hand at something new.
I urge you to keep things in perspective and understand the difference between letting your partner paint a room and encouraging your partner to rebuild your car’s transmission with zero mechanical experience. Aside from a few splatters of paint that may need to be cleaned up later, there’s really no risk in letting your man take the lead and get his DIY on. Sure, you may actually be a better painter, but does it really matter in the big picture? No. Show your support as he learns new things instead of limiting his potential by insisting you do it yourself.
4. Be Aware of Your Ability to Impact
You are the most important person to your partner, with the most power to impact his thoughts, opinions and feelings. Chances are that he is the exact same to you. The difference is that, with an Alpha, outside influence doesn’t always reach as deep. You must remember to stay aware and conscious of your unique, and near endless, impact on your partner.
Things that may seem simple or like “no big deal” to you, such as dragging him along on a night out with a group of your friends, or making him stay at a party when he’s clearly not enjoying himself or feels tired, can have a big effect on your relationship. Respecting his interests, reading his cues and remembering that winning isn’t everything will go a long way.
5. Embrace the Spectrum
Something I read recently really stuck out to me. The author spoke of how masculine and feminine energies, as well as Alpha and Beta personalities, exist on a spectrum. While someone may exhibit more Alpha qualities than Beta, it doesn’t mean that this balance can’t or won’t shift over time. What’s more is that neither partner is truly 100% Alpha or Beta. If they were, the relationship simply wouldn’t work. If both were Alpha, nearly every interaction would be catatonic. If both were Beta, nothing would ever get done. It’s important that both partners embrace the spectrum and have the ability to amplify the two energies – masculine and feminine – that make them who they are. Welcoming this fluidity and ongoing balance is crucial to the success of your relationship!
To your authenticity,
Love, Christine